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Wedding_Preparations_Begin

And so the tale begins.... Wedding_Preparations_Begin.
StoryMeezer [Stories@meezer.com]
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*Dial, dial, dial* *Brrrrrng, brrrrrrng, brrrrrrng*

Hello? Mish Show-fee? It ish moi, your true lub, Marley!

Yesh, THAT Marley.

No, sugarbunch, I jush hab been busy. You know, a full work shcedule. Kenmore and I hab been touring the country touting my new book: "Fluffenatorsh Are More Than Doorshtopsh, A Case Shtudy". We hab been a shmash shuccessh!

Yesh, honeylipsh, we are getting ready for the big wedding now. Kenmore ish presshing my good tuxshedo and LeeLee ish teashing her hair. She sheemsh to think that the Phyllish Diller look ish tresh chic.

I know, I know, I tried to tell her she looksh like a dead hooker, but what can you do? Hehehehe.

Yesh, her dressh ish very pretty. Kinda looksh like clear plashtic wrap with glitter.

Kenmore will be wearing hish shame little boring shuit. You know, the one like Ho Chi Minh. He will be preshentable.

Yesh, yesh, we will pick you up in the limo.

You hab all my lub, Mish Show-fee.

Buh bye.

*Click*
Marley []
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Hello, Marley?

Ah jes wanted to let y'all know that ah may be a lil bit late for the wedding festivities. Ah've jes been PULLED in so many directions lately. Ah'm a lil bit tied up at the moment, honeybunch. Hold that limo! Ah'm sure something will break me loose from the predicament ah've landed my pea-pickin' lil ole heart in, sugah. Jes one question, sweetlips? Can this southern belle meezer get away with wearing a red, skin-tight spideymeezer outfit to the wedding? Kinda Angelina Jolie with fur? NO. Ah was afraid of that. Better crank up the Gold Card, Marley. Ah trust you to purchase a suitable outfit for me to wear to the wedding. Remember to match mah blue eyes, sugah. And remember . . . ah only have eyes for YOU. Gotta go, luv . . . ah'm being pulled away again. Your gurlfriend, Miss Sophie
Miss Sophie, Magnolia of the South []
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*gentle buzz * *gentle buzz*
"Grrreetings Marley"

"Yes yes, yews may kees Our pawickie offurr the phone"

*loud lip schmacking noise*

"We phoned to let yew know that We stink Miss Sophie is somwot upset because yew won meowore delicious Pounce Pumpkin Treats in Meezer Balderdash than she did"

"We understand that yews ate 24 points"

"no no......no, We fink not....."

"Howmeow wud it luk tew the other purrlayers if We didst show thee such favor?"

"But then all the handsome Knights would want the same fings and a big Cat fight wud happen"

"Well, yews better fink of sum way to appppurrrrease Miss Sophie quickly"

"yes yes yes......" *tail lash*

"Well, let Us know howmeow it goes...."

"Until the next time ...."

*click*
Queen Daphine []
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ADVERTISEMENT: Via Cold Phone call

Feeling your hunny bunny pulling away from you, distracted, not as affectionate as usual?

Oh Oh!

Do not despair.

Yes Marley there is LOVE INNA BOTTLE!

Paprika's genyooine Voodoo Priestess potions are available for only $24.95.

You receive one half ounce of potion mix in a ruby red bottle and your love bunny is guaranteed to hoppity hop back to your hairy arms.

Today, now, don't wait, Ruby Red Love potion ONLY at..

www.juju.com
Paprika []
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***brrring, eh** ****rrrring , eh*****

Hello, LeeLee? How's that dress fitting coming along? ....
Uh huh...
Did you get the amethyst tailrings I want you all to wear?
Huh? What do you mean you don't want to wear those shoes?
.....

Listen, get Marley or Kenny to put the shoes on and show you how - and help you practice walking in them. You'll be fine.

Yes....you'll be a great bridesmaid!

Love you, hun!"

Click.
Purrincess Kiwi []
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***one ringy dingy****two ringy dingys
Hello, Princess Kiwi? This is Fiona.
Are flower girls allowed to bring dates?
Oh that's good.
It's that cute South African meezer, Mickey.
Isn't he just to die for?!
Huh?
Well yes he does get into a lot of trouble, but that's because he's so brave. And have you seen his boat?
Yes that's right. He's a knight. He partners with my cousin Random.
No, Random doesn't have a date. He's hoping to see Cinnamon at the wedding.
Ok hun see ya!
I'm going to try on my dress now.
**smack**smack (air kisses)
CookieToes []
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*wonk*** **woooonnkkk**

"Hello, Sorrel? Yes, it's me, the maid of honour. How are you, sweetie? Listen, I have been searching frantically efferywhere for that list of what a maid of honour is supposed to do. I can't even recall who all the bridesmaids are! I am having a blonde moment just like mom does. Aaack!
....
Okay. Well, yes, I did just overhear her on the phone to Fiona, but she is a flower girl.
.....
Uh huh. I looked in the Royal Private Message Roster and all the entries prior to March had been mysteriously erased by a powerful cosmic force. I tried to use magic tortie dust to recapture them, but no dice. I did see the ghostings of postings from LeeLee, Baby, Ailsa and Delilah. I seem to recall they were the maids. And yourself, of course! Can you confirm? Were there others flying in who i should make reservations for? Oh, I am afraid i am a terrible maid of honour. .
...
Of course. Yes. Ya?
...
You are very wise, and not at all blonde, Sorrel. Thanks ever so! Byeee!"

Click(iteees)
SuShi []
*****************************
**Brupp brupp** **Brupp brupp**

Hello?? SuShi?? Yes, it's Ailsa...oh, yes, I'm thrilled to be a bridesmaid...

Noise??? Oh, that would be the exercise bike...yes...well...the good news is the tailring is exquisite and it fits.

Uh huh....really??

No, the colour of the dress is ....divine...what colour would you call that?

Well...now you mention it...it's just a wee bit tight in places...

Yes...REALLY??

Marley did what???

Ruby red love potion? And some one exchanged the real potion for Simply Red Fur dye??

((Sound of intense giggling and a rather large THUMP))

Sorry, SuShi...laughed so hard I fell off the bike.

Right...keep me posted...oooh, got to go, I've got a batch of catnip brownies in the oven....
Ailsa []
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****Driiiiiiiiiiing driiiiiiiiiiiiiing****
Allô Marley, t'iz me, your buddy! Yes yes ME MYSELF!
Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't make any faux pas when dressing furrr the wedding. Make sure your outfit match your paw pads pals!!!!
**ROFL..... Hysterical laughs....**
**noise of a receiver being banged down**

Woooooopsy.... should I call him back and make amend????? I just couldn't resist....
Pen-Duick []
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And although Marley started this thing....everyone wondered if the varmit would effur plug hiss phone back in......????
Queen Daphine []
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Bringggg . . . bringgggg!

Calling Mr. Marley!

Hmmmm . . . voice mail!

"Marley, you stripedy varmint, where ARE you? Did you get mah dress for the wedding?"

"Ah'm not so much feeling pulled in all directions now, but ah seem to have landed my lil ole self in a STICKY mess."

"Love potion? What's this ah'm hearing about a love potion?"

"MARLEY, WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED YOU NOW!"

Please leave your message at the sound of the tone!

"ARGGGGGHHHHH!"
Miss Sophie, Magnolia of the South []
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*Shcribble, shcribble, shcribble*

Dear Mish Show-fee,

It hash come to my attention that your attention hash been attending to other thingsh.

I am sure that your lack of attention ish unintentional, but nonethelessh I am afraid that I hab eshcaped to a shmall but exshpenshive island with a good friend who shall remain namelessh. I sure like thish "potion", whatever that ish. I thought it wash shum Brylcream for my hair.

Shealed with a kissh.
Marley []
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Marley, Marley are you listening to me?

Paprika had her arms crossed and was tapping her orange hind paw.

Marley was shaking the Ruby red bottle, holding it up to the sunlight, peering through it, opening it and sniffing it.

"Are you shure dish ish going to work wif my Mish Showfee? Twenty five bucksh ish a lot of Pounce fer me."

"Yes I said guranteed. yes it will work. Would you be CAREFUL with that. As I was saying, you just put a couple of drops into Miss Sophie's champagne glass, pour about half a jigger in, and be there smiling when she drinks it. Do NOT let anyone else into the room and do NOT let her see anyone else but you."

Marley suddenly amost dropped the bottle and spilled some on himself. He stared at his pink paw which was red and oily with the stuff.

"Hey this ish good stuff but it shmellsh like hair tonic." he licked his fingers.

Before Paprika could react he looked at her and smeared the ruby red on his hair.

"Oh NO!!!!" Paprika slapped her paws over her big aqua velvet eyes. "Now I am going to have to make an Indigo blue she's just okay tonic."

Meanwhile a slip of drool escaped from Marley's lips and slid down his chin as he fell to one knee in front of Paprika, who in her coat of wild opalescent voodoo colors, suddenly appeared ravishing.
Paprika []
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*The Mandynator knocks the phone off the hook and presses the speed dial button labeled "Duncan Bunny" with a tiny chockie paw*

*ggrrrriiiing* *ggrrriiiing*

May I speak with Duncan please?

Uh, Duncan? This is Mandy. Is anyone listening on the other extension? No? Are you sure?

Listen, Dunkie sweetie... I mean I love Hostess Snowballs as much as the next gurl, but that title seems a bit flippant for such a refined gentleman as yourself. So if you want me to make some calls, just say the word.

You're OK with it? You sure? I must say you are the epitomy of tolerance and patience.

I was wondering when you were gonna pick me up for the wedding. You're not gonna believe this but I'm wearing a DRESS! I had to order a kitten's size 8 so it's a bit short, but I think you'll like it.

You'll call me back and let me know? That'd be just fine, honey bunny.

Yes, angel. Me too. *kissy* *kissy*

Oh, one more thing. You gotta remember to never let on how sweet I am. Yes, I know you understand but I just can't take any chances.

Oh I know you know, purrecious. You understand me so well. Bye bye, angel....
The Mandynator []
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*bbbbbbrrinng*
*bbbbbbrrinng*

Uh, er...Hey! Is Miss Lady Baby available?

It beezs Sir Sebastian, her fiance. Yes, in Gawja. Ah do not beez talkin' funny! Who beez this anyhow? Who? Oh. Lady Baby's new little sista. Yes, yes. Ah'm shure yah've heard all about me. May ah please speak wif Lady Baby? Please? Purty please? Thank you. *sighs at muffled giggles on other end of the line*

*taps paw while waiting impatiently for his Lake Erie Sweetie to answer the phone*

Baby? Aw, mah sweet. How beez ya? Ah beez missin' you, too. *kissy sound* Ah can't wait ta see ya.

Ya did? Ah bet it looks purty all cleaned up. You and ya tail ring will beez da most beautimust lady at da wedding.

Purrrincess Kiwi will beez stunning but she no beez holding a candle to mah Lady Baby.

Yes, yes. Ah will beez pickin' you up at 6pm in da carriage.

No, Pendragon beez coming. Ah told him ta behave.

*looks around to make sure no one is listening. Whispers into the phone*

Ah love you!

*a bit louder*
Ah said ah love you!

*even louder*
Ah love you!

*sniggers are heard behind him. Sebastian turns red as he shouts into the phone*
AH LOVE YOU!

Ah'm sorry. Ah didn't mean ta shout. Just wanted ta make sure ya heard me that time.

*kissy sound*

*gently hangs up the receiver and prances off down the hallway*

*Pendragon tackles him from a side door and makes kissy noises to him*

*Sebastian slaps Pen upside the head*
Sebastian []
*****************************
One ringy dingy . . . two ringy dingies . . . three

"Hello, Marley sugah?"

Sophie thought the high pitched fluffenator voice on the other end of the phoine was not that of her sweet Marley.

"Whaddya mean he's not home? Who is this? Kenmore? Well, where is he?" Sophie was getting more than a little exasperated. First Marley took off for some Island, he was supposed to be buying her a new dress for the wedding, then he calls her from Kenmore's shoe and 35 donkeys later . . . NO MARLEY! What was going on with him?

Kenmore returns with this information: "He's down on bended knee before Paprika . . . he has a glazed look in his eye . . . and red tonic on his paws . . . and he's muttering somethin' 'bout Paprika being the most beautiful meezer in the world?"

Sophie is perplexed. "Well Kenmore, y'all jes march right over to him and ask him what about his Southern Belle? His Magnolia of the South? Me, Miss Sophie?" She smugly knew that this would jar Marley to his senses.

Sophie taps her little footickie as she waits and waits for Kenmore to return.

"He said WHAT? He said Sophie who?" Sophie sobbed . . . she couldn't bear hearing the words that Kenmore was relaying to her. "Ah haveta see it with mah own eyes! I'll be right over!" she cried. Boo-hoo, hoo, hoo! Wot am ah going to do?
Miss Sophie, Magnolia of the South []
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Ring! Ring!

"Oh shucks, an answering meeze-chine. Oh, wait, gotta leave the message after the miaou."

MIAOU!

"Marley, hey Lavender here. We secret agent meezers want to know when the wedding begins so we can take a meeze-sion break to come make sure the security is tight. We'd be glad to become secret service agents for the day! Call me back on my whisker phone and let me know at your earliest convenience. If I don't answer, leave a message, I might be on some important meeze-sion. Oh, and shh about the meeze-sion stuff, my bean thinks I'm just off being fostered somewhere, she doesn't know that I'm really galavanting around the world!"
Lavender []
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Crackle crackle, brrrpp brrrrpp:

Hell Miss Sophie, damned cell phone cnnection.

SOPHIE! It's Paprika. Put down that catmint julep and quit drinking you need to hire Kanoa's boat and get on out to Meezleby Island. Your dork fiance got mixed up in my potions and we need to get things settled.

never mind how, just get your blue bell bottom over here. Wear your best, stay sober, and DO NOT bring any one with you.

No those are not kissing noises Marley has his tongue stuck in a bottle.

Never mind what bottle just get over here.

Aaaccckkkk don't touch me you stripey barracuda.

Did you hear me Sophie? Okay see you shortly.

Paps
Paprika []
*****************************
Calling all Cars! Calling all Cars! Oops, wrong phone.

Ring . . . ring . . . briiiiiiinnnnnnggg! Ah need to speak to Mr. Kanoa, please!

Mr. Kanoa, ah need a lil ole favor from y'all please, kind sir. Ah need to rent your boat pronto so that ah can head out to Meezleby Island. Money is no object, sugah. Ah've had to take a break from my Secret Agent duties to take care of this lil ole matter close to mah heart.

Y'all say y'all have one lil ole boat left? Book it, Dano!

Miss Sophie ran to her closet . . . what was that Paprika had said . . . WEAR YOUR BEST! Sophie pulled outfits from several hangers and held each one up to her to see what looked the best. Hmmmm . . . this was an Island . . . should she dress casual? Nope . . . Sophie was pulling out all the stops. She pulled on a hot number in black with plunging neckline, plunging back and up-to-there slit skirt. She added diamond earrings the size of stones and a heart-shaped locket with a picture of Marley inside. Satisfied with her looks, Sophie headed for the door. She could be at the marina in 4 minutes.

Mr. Kanoa was waiting for Sophie. He was all set to man the boat, but Sophie remembered that Paprika had said DO NOT BRING ANYONE! Sophie used her sweet-talking charms to convince Kanoa that she could manage the boat on her own. "Now don't y'all worry your handsome lil ole head about lil ole me, Kanoa! Ah'll be jes fine and ah'll take really good care of your lil ole boat!" Miss Sophie scratched Kanoa behind one ear as she whispered the words he most wanted to hear. "Marley will gladly reimburse you for any inconvenience with his GOLD CARD! Now don't y'all fret none, sugahbunch."

Sophie raced toward the Island and her one true love, Marley. As she neared the shoreline, Sophie realized that she might have over-estimated her docking technique, but it was too late to worry about it now. CRASH! BOOM! Sophie winced, but noticed only the tiniest lil ole scratch to Kanoa's boat.

After a short walk to the middle of the Island, Sophie found Paprika with Marley sitting at her feet, his tongue wedged inside a reddish-looking bottle! She could tell by his expression, this wasn't cherry coke! Sophie looked into Paprika's wise and knowing eyes and cried, "Paprika, what has happened to mah sugahpie?"
Miss Sophie, Magnolia of the South []
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Ho boy, my head hurtsh. Shumbody call Betty Ford. I need an intervention. Uhhh...

Mish Show-fee, ish that you? It ish an ansher from heaven above! Or maybe Colin Powell! Anyway, let ush get away from here. Kenmore ish shtill shtuck in the front end of a donkey shuit and may be in trouble!
Marley []
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Paprika slapped a paw on Marley's shoulder.

Not yet. He got crossed eyes staring again at Paprika.

Take some of this Indigo first. She slapped him hard on the back and his tongue stuck out. She sprinkled a drop of the Indigo on his tongue. Now this means your feelings about me have once again become ambivalent.

He started to leave.

Dat tashtes terrible bad.

Nope, and here is the Pink. Pink is the color of Love, she poured a drop in two champagne glasses and handed them to Marley and Sophie.

DON'T DRINK!!

Paprika hid behind a coconut tree. Okay go ahead.

When she came from behind the tree they were arm and arm heading toward Kanoa's boat.

Paprika looked at the reather large scrape on the side of the boat.

I WOULDN'T GET IN THAT THING ON DRY LAND! She said to herself.

Instead she called up one of Random's Magic passenger Ravens and flew off leaving the two love birds safely in wach others arms.
Paprika []
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"Oh Marley darlin' . . . finally and at last together! Smoooooch!"

Miss Sophie was in seventh heaven and Marley only had eyes for her. *huge sigh*

They left the Island arm in arm and headed for the South of France to find Kenmore. Maybe Pen-Duick would be able to help them. "Ah Marley sugah, Kenmore may not be the head end of a donkey anymore . . . he might be in a zippered pouch . . . yeah, honeybunch, kinda like a ham on rye sandwich. We'd better hurry!" cooed Miss Sophie.

"Isn't that Paprika the most wonderful creature, Marley, with all her spells and potions and magical drinks!" Sophie mused.

"Yes sweetiepie, I know she was out of cherry coke!" Sophie giggled.

Just then the boat started to ring. Brrrrriinggg . .. a ringa ding ding. Sophie and Marley looked at each perplexed beyond all reason. Who knew where they were? Who could be calling them?
Miss Sophie, Magnolia of the South []
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