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SICC Story Lines

Opened: Feb 28th, 2007 - 9:43pm
Ready for Editing.


The_Royal_Wedding_of_Remington_Seal_and_Purrincess_Kiwi

And so the tale begins.... The_Royal_Wedding_of_Remington_Seal_and_Purrincess_Kiwi.
StoryMeezer [Stories@meezer.com]
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Pepe Joe stood nervously at the back of the stage peeking out from behind the curtain. Meezers in every imaginable form of attire were beginning to file through the great doors and into the grand hall. Dobermans stood stoically at either side of the doors clad in red velvet waistcoats. Similarly clad Weiner D*wgs ran to and fro laying out the horse durvies and filling the Waterford crystal punch bowls that covered huge lace adorned tables. They were having a hard time keeping up with Sir Brechin as he seemed to think everything had to be tasted thrice to be deemed acceptable. This was no ordinary wedding, of course. There were meezers involved and that meant there would be fuud before, during AND after the ceremony. Meezers sure knew how to throw a party.

Pepe Joe had heard a few shouts and scuffles outside the doors earlier and wondered what kind of rabble might be trying to crash the party. But knowing that Incoming, JakeDeEarthQuake and The Mandynator were keeping guard outside gave the meek monk much comfort. And of course there was Roxanne. No sane creature would cross her path uninvited! But still Pepe Joe’s brow knitted as he reread the confidential interoffice memo warning of a possible infiltration of the Al Catta faction. The threat of water balloons worried him mightily considering that his monkly robe was dry clean only.

“Sister Wimples!” Pepe Joe whispered as loudly as he dared. “Is my robe and sash ready?” The sweet Wimples rolled her eyes impatiently and motioned for Pepe Joe to leave his station at the curtain. “Stop your fretting, Brother Pepe Joe! Have a little faith, for meezers sake!” She proceeded to stuff Pepe Joe’s head into the robe, smoothed it out over his portly body and draped the silk sash around his neck. “There. You look magnificent”, Wimples proclaimed proudly. They both turned to stare at Paprika who was dancing in circles, chanting and shaking a rattle made of turtle shells. “Hey, it can’t hurt!” said Paprika confidently. “And besides, that turtle was yummy!”

Pepe Joe searched nervously for his notes and finally located them. As he scanned them for the hundredth time he realized he hadn’t yet gotten all the information on what wedding vows the couples wanted!

Just as he was about to panic over the missing vows he heard Wimples scurry away to the back door where the brides and their attendants were waiting impatiently. “Oh dear, oh dear!” Pepe Joe muttered. I’ve forgotten all about the boys!” He hurried to open the door on the opposite side to find the grooms and their entourage sitting on the back stoop, holding their heads in one paw while drumming their claws on the ground with the other. “It’s about darn time, Pepe Joe!” Remington Seal whispered. Sir Sebastian smiled halfheartedly as Baxter rushed in like a banshee. Sebastian caught Baxter just in time. “Hold on there, Baxter! You can’t let your bride see you before the wedding!” As Pepe Joe led the boys into the antechamber that was reserved for them, they all could hear giggles coming from the opposite side of the hall. For some reason it sent chills up the spines of the grooms…
Pepe Joe []
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Hey, dis is FUN! I gets to stand here wif my razorsharp clawickies extended and look furrrrocious! YO - somebody get me anovver catnip julip - I's dry as a bone over here! An I gets to frisk everyboddy and look for gatecrashers unnner dem big skirts and foofaws! HEY YOU - aint you sposed to be ovver dere somewheres? Get your stripey butt back in line. GEEZ - dem stripey varmints ain't got no sense at all!!! AN STAY OUTA DAT PUNCHBOWL!
Incoming []
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Sister Wimples was trying to be joyous about the wedding but was having a really hard time. As she helped Pepe Joe on with his robes and searched for his "Book of Occasional Services" and handed it to him ("No Father, not that page, that's for a funeral, this one, in the Appendix, Meezer Weddings. . .") she couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen to her and Lavender. Lavender was on her way (or at least supposed to be on her way) to the church now, to join in the joyful crowd of those who would celebrate the royal nuptuals. She had left her sister earlier that morning with the last word from their Meowmy being that they would soon need to relocate to a place in the far and frigid north, a place called something like Transylvania, or Pen-slovakia, or Pencil-mania. She knew that Lavender hated the cold and neither of them wanted to move any further from meowmy than they already were. So, these worried thoughts had been in the back of her mind as she tried to be joyful about the celebration.

Suddenly there was a ruckus outside and as Pepe Joe opened the door to look out at the grooms, in burst a purple and white streak of lythe and sleek meezerness.

"Lavender, what are you doing back here, you're supposed to be up in the narthex awaiting a seat at one of the banquet tables!" Wimples shouted to her friend, totally surprised at Lavender's appearance.

"Guess what, Sister! Meowmy just told me that we don't haveta move to that Pans-of-panine place after all! Our foster meowmy is able to keep us!" Wimple's face lit up with joy at Lavender's annoucement and they did a happy dance around the room, knocking into Pepe Joe as he practiced the nuptuals (and accidently causing him to flip to the baptisms part of the book, "Hmm, sprinkle headicky with water three times? I don't think these meezettes will like their beaufont hairdos getting wet. . .but whatever it says!"). Then they crashed into some of Paprika's rattles and bells, making an awful clamor and causing her to almost put a spell on them as the noise shocked her out of a meditative state.

"Calm down you two!" Pepe Joe finally shouted at the celebrating meezettes. "Lets get down to the business of luv!
Sister Wimples []
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Hey watch out! Paprika said. This stuff is sacred and volatile. Instead of having a wedding of meezers we would be having a wedding of black footed ferrets. Anyway, I talked to the spirits for you about the nonm move so hope you are both happy!

i hope to gosh my prayer beads are on straight.
Paprika []
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Sam PC in top hat arrived with his newly wed bride Kairo. Because of their very geezerly status, they were given advanced seating. They were seated together on a soft leopard thermal pad built for two that had been ordered just for this event. Remind me dear - "What are we here for?" the senile PC asks Kairo. As Kairo explains patiently yet again..... PC purrs and says he has eyes on only one lady - the one that shares his dreams. He settles down on the thermal pad, making sure that Kairo has ample room. He lays his head down so that she can place her head on top of his to get the best view of the ceremony.
Sam PC []
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hey Mom!! Aren't your prayers beads actually tiny human Skulls? Sheesh that is some voodoo magic.

Anyway, can Laz come with us to the wedding?
Firecracker Kid []
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Hmmm, not sure. You maybe ought to ask that man in the top hat if Laz can come. After all, she wasn't invited. There now my beads ARE on straight. I am ready to officiate.
Paprika []
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Hey, Mr. Top Hat Sir, can I go to the Royal Wedding? I know I wasn't invited but I wasn't born yet when the invitations first came out?
Laz []
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Well I am dressed and ready to go and see if Miss Sushi is there. I am wearing my best red hot Firecracker outfit. And mom, I had a closer look. Your beads are TOO tiny human skulls.

Son, whaddya expect from a voodoo priestess. Gad, said Paprika. And bring that brat half sister of yours.

Okay, gee she's your half sister too mom.

Dont' smartmouth me son.

Yes Ma'am!

Anyway, Mom, Laz don't got nothing to wear!
Firecracker Kid []
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I DO TOO!!! MY NEW PINK DRESS! If only Mr. PC says i can go. Can I Mr. PC?
Laz []
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After Lavender had excited, Wimples sneezed then quickly brushed some sparkly dust off herself, hoping it wasn't some of Paprika's voodoo medicine. She feared she might turn into a black footed ferret and so checked her paws -- they were kinda black. . . uh oh. . .

Paprika, laughing at Wimples worried look said, "You already had dark paws Sister, I think you'll be okay, ya havta say some special words anyway. . ." and suddenly she jumped straight at Wimples, "LIKE THESE: 'BALKAY EFFERTAY OUSHETAY!" and a big POOF filled the room with smoke , sending Pepe Joe to coughing and his pages in his "Book of Occasional Services" to fluttering (this time they flipped to an Ordination service and he continued reading, "Do you accept this call, and will you serve with energy, intelligence, imagination, and love?").

Wimples gave a huge gasp and cough and fainted suddenly on the ground with a big THUMP, thinking for sure she'd been turned into a black footed ferret. Paprika couldn't stop laughing as she looked at the Sister sprawled rather unelegantly on the floor and thought of the hillarious trick she'd played on a gullible Wimples. "That'll teach her to be more careful around my stuff," she thought gleefully to herself as she sprinkled water and held smelling salts under Wimple's nose.
Sister Wimples []
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Kenmore, I think thish wash a dumb idea. I know you shed that nobody will recognize me, but dresshing up like a gurl? And thish blond wig itches. And theesh big high heel shoesh. How can gurlsh wear theesh thingsh? They are show uncomfortable I am about to faint. Or maybe it ish hunger. I haven't had a bite to eat all day long. Firsht the airport refused my Gold Card, that Mish Show-fee had better shtop shopping, then the limo breaksh down...then we head off to Saksh Fifth Avenue with Wynona Ryder. She shed I didn't need a Gold Card to go shopping. And she wash right! I jush lub thish new gown. I think it would look better on Mish Show-fee though. Do I hab to pretend I am your date, Kenmore? Why can't I be shumbody else'sh date? Like Rosie O'Donnell'sh? That would be fun. I think we are the shame dressh shize too. Go find me a shnack, Kenmore. I will be right here reshting my aching feet.
Marley []
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After fooling around with the adorable Lav and Wimples. Paprika surveiled the room. Now what did she see but a Giant Fluffenator steering the elbow of a flabby X-dressing Cat.

Paprika squinted her eyes and gave a big schmoozy smile...Looking mighty suspicious to see some big white pawackies shoved in a pair of pink pumps!

This definitely has possibilities for a Trickster. Now where had that Pendragon gone off to....?
Paprika []
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Bailey's voice crackled thru the headphones "Only 10 minutes more to the airport, Mom...see - I told you I'd get you here safe and sound...and in record time, too...!" Ribbons, strapped into the copilot seat with her eyes shut tightly and her stomach in knots, thinking to herself "NEXT time we take the train....!!"...it's not that she didn't have total confidence in her young son's ability as a pilot, it was just a bit more "excitement" than she cared for, and all she could think about was getting her paws back on the ground, and the sooner the better...! "I know what you're waiting for...you can't wait to see that "Mr. Panda" again....!", Bailey said in a sing-song voice.....Ribbons glared at the back of his head, then smiled to herself....
"Hey - lookie at that bridge down there....!! We can fly right under it....!!! Hang on, Mom....!!!" Bailey sent the plane into a steep banking dive...."ISN'T THIS GREAT...??? WOOOHOOOO.....!!!!" Ribbons gasped and clenched her eyes tightly shut again..." ohhh myyyy.... ....OOOHHH MYYYYyyyYY....!!! BAILEY.....!!! NEXT...TIME...WE...TAKE...THE...TRAAAAAIIINNNN.....!!!!!"
Bailey []
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Laz - I think that you can observe the Royal Wedding. Kairo and I are not volunteering to kitten sit - we be too old for that so you'd better be on your best behavior. Stay out of Roxanne and Pendragon's way. Remember not to jump in the woodchipper. Roxanne might not see you and turn it on with you in it. Don't go sliding any of the bride's dresses just because you want a ride down the aisle. You've already used a couple of lives and you aren't even full grown yet. And I'd suggest that you not climb on Pepe Joe to get a better look at what is going on. And better check on your curfew time. These weddings can go long into the night when little kittens should be in bed. Maybe ask Marley if he'll kitten sit. It'll give him an excuse to avoid Ms Sophie at the wedding. That is unless that stripey varmit's intentions are honourable. Yes...... it has been long enough. He should do the honourable thing. That cherry coke has gone and pickled his brain so don't you drink any cherry coke at the wedding. Mighty bad habit.
Sam PC []
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The Limo pulls out. Cat Springer is beside himself. He misjudged the time that it would take to get through the traffic. He has arrived early. He bites the chauffeur on the ear and howls - circle round the block at least ten times. You can't expect me to get out when there are no pawpawratzi here here yet to notice my appearance at the Royal Wedding. He takes a quick look for Ms Sophie and rolls the window up. He is still hurting after being pitched on his headickie from the Eiffel tower by her in the summer. He doesn't see her yet. No doubt if she had been in the small gathered crowd, her jewels would catch the sun and send a gleam his way. He is thankful he had the windows tinted darker so that he wouldn't be noticed just yet. He had his toupee cleaned and wants to impress Ms Sophie with his new locks.
Cat Springer []
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Sir Lester, resplendent in his freshly-cleaned weskit, escorted the lovely Lady Lily to the soft blankie spread on their alloted pew. He had nearly changed his mind and worn his armor, but when he put it on he'd kept falling on his faceickie with a resounding *crash*. Lily had told him if he wore "dat fing", she would go to the wedding with someone else. "I thay, Lily," he said as they settled on the blankie, "who'th that rather attractive blonde meethette in the gown and high heelth, thitting nektht to Kenmore?" *gledge* Lily kicked him in the shin. "Youw awe a diwty owd man, Westew," she said, "and if I didn't know you bettew I'd be jeawous!" Lester tenderly licked Lily's ears and felt in his pocket to check that the small box was still there. Glancing back at the blonde, he saw that she was glowering at him. There was something quite strange about her, too. And strangely familiar.
Sir Lester []
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Fiona stood on her peach colored back paw and tapped the seal colored back paw impatiently. She was excedingly angry and didn't know who to be angry with Random or Mickey.
"Did you tell Mickey to pick me up for the wedding, Random? Or did you tell him I was meeting him there?"

"Geesh Fiona I don't know. We talked about it but I don't remember exactly," Random moaned. " We were figuring out when we could get the big field for Tomo's explosion lessons. I know that Mickey is picking me up for that and then we're going to get Tomo but I forgot what Mickey said about the wedding. Why don't you just call him?"

"I tried!" Fiona said, "but he's not answering his car phone or his boat phone or his whisker phone. I don't know what to do!"

"You will have to figure it out yourself," Random answered. "I have to get Baxter and keep him away from talking parrots until the ceremony. And you better run Lola up and down the stairs a few more times or the buttons are going to be flying off her gown and hitting the guests."

Fiona sighed and hit the redial button on her phone.
Cookie Toes/Fiona []
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SOMEBODY COME GET THESE (^&%^()*@)#&$(@*^@# KITTENS OUTTA MY FUR! I AINT NO BABYSITTER AN SOMEBODYS GONNA BE REALLLLLLLLL SORRY REALLLLLL SOON!!!!!

NO YOU CANT PLAY WIF MY TAILICKIE! I'S MEAN AND I'S BAAAD AN YOU BETTER BE SKEERED CAUSE I USES KITTENS FOR TARGET PRACTICE - SEE DEM CLAWICKIES??!!

GET OFFA MY BLANKIE, YOU LITTLE BEAST!!!!
Incoming []
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Please, no one tell Finnian and Bean about this event...I don't want my little brothers tagging along on my big date with Kato. I just know they will do something to embarrass me, like try to headbutt me when I am waltzing or clean my ears in front of everyone.
Wicca []
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Comfortably snuggled on their thermal pad, PC and Kairo surveyed the attendees. Kairo described the various guests and their formal attire in great detail to her beloved PC. "Those youngsters are just gorgeous, so full of high spirits and lots of energy, PC. It's a bit contagious - definitely a good thing for geezers like us." She continues her commentary on the scene while snuggling closer to her handsome husband, knowing this is going to be a long evening and concerned about keeping their geezerly bones warm and comfortable. "It was so sweet you gave little Laz purrmission to attend." She's a good kitty. But, I'm very relieved we're not kitten-sitting - those little ones have far too much energy." Discretely adjusting her tanzanite studded neckpiece, Kairo puts her head next to PC's for a little pre-ceremony snooze.
Kairo []
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Prince and his Tabby brothers, Peter and Paul, arrived, along with their canine friend, Partner. The kitties gasped at the sight of Partner at first, but Prince said, "He is one of us, an honorary Meezer. He is a Meezer's best friend and loves kitties." Come in Partner, they said, any friend of Prince and Brothers is a friend of ours.
Prince []
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The twin engine jet taxied to a stop, Bailey hopped out and unstrapped Ribbons from her seat..."Mom...? Mom - you can open your eyes now, we've landed....!" Ribbons opened one eye slowly, then the other and took a deep breath...she slowly and a bit shakily climbed out of her seat and down to the tarmac. Bailey was giving instructions to the ground crew mechanics "Yes, that's right - fully-fueled and ready to go...and no Calico mechanics, understood...? I don't want to get stranded like I did the last time they worked this plane...!"
Bailey turned to Ribbons with a big smile..."That was quite a ride, wasn't it...?? You know, I almost thought for a minute there (Bailey turned and winked at the mechanics) we were gonna hit when we went under that bridge....!! Sure was exciting, wasn't it...how did you like it..??!" Ribbons glared at him and thwacked him upside his head with a paw..."THAT'S how I liked it...and furthermore, when we go back home I'M taking the train....!!!" ~thwack....!...~...."OOoowwww....!! ok, ok....geeeezzz, I was just trying to have some fun...!" Bailey rubbed his head a moment, then looked around...."I guess we'll have to catch a cab to the church...it's still early, so we have plenty of time, and....." Bailey's voice trailed off as a sleek black limo pulled up to the plane...a uniformed Birman got out - "Ms. Ribbons....? Mr. Bailey....? I'm to take you to the Grand Hall for the Royal Wedding..." The Birman opened the door and helped Ribbons inside, Bailey climbed in after her and settled back into the plush seats...Bailey whistled..."Wow...will you look at THIS...real velvet....very nice....!" "Now watch your claws, young meeze...!" Ribbons reminded him....she turned to the driver and asked "but...but....we didn't order a limo....how did you come to be here...?" The driver straightened his cap, smiled and said "Not to worry, Ma'am...I am here to transport you to the wedding - my services are compliments of Mr. Panda, who sends you his regards..."..."ohhh...I see...." ....Bailey began exploring the limo...."Ohh look - Irish Cream....my favorite...!!" Ribbons grabbed his paws and said sternly, "Must you ALways get into EVERYthing....?? Now sit back and be still....!!"
The limo sped off to the Grand Hall as Ribbons settled back into her seat, smiling to herself....
Ribbons []
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Paprika was delighted to see pals Prince, Peter and Paul but frowned a bit at Partner. The she snapped her fingers. I know just the thing Partner. She took some Black Magic powder and gave Partner black legs, tail and mask so he looked like a seal point. Then she handed him a pair of indigo lensed rayban sunglasses. There ya go Partner, now you pass pretty well as a very large seal point Meezer.

Peter, Paul, and Prince all smiled and patted Partner. They loved their doggie pal in a cat suit.
Paprika []
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Remington Seal and Sebastian had already changed into their black tie and tails. Both cats were extremely elegant and handsome, and in their formal attire, they were magnificent.

As for Baxter, he struggled to get into his tux. Months of Wellness Lite kibble had knocked a couple of pounds off him, but in the week before the wedding, he had gotten so nervous that he was eating every banana cream pie he could see.

"This is a little tight," he gasped. "I need a corset."

Sebastian and Remington looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Baxter, that tux isn't going to fit. In any case, you look like Shamu in it. Don't stand near the window. Someone from Sea World will see you and try to take you back to the tank. It's awfully late. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Seb?" Remington asked.

"Yep. I'm on it," Sebastian nodded, whipping out his cell phone. "Hello, Tents and Muumuus R Us? We have a wedding emergency. Baxter has outgrown his tux. We need something tasteful and in a hurry." Sebastian put the phone aside for a moment and looked at Baxter. "Hey, how does a wedding toga sound?"

"As long as it's not a shower curtain," Baxter said, tears coming down his face. "Lola won't marry me if I wear anything from Bed, Bath and Beyond!"
Remington Seal []
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Hector was fretting about the Royal Wedding. He'd been warming up his voice for months now so that he'd be able to give his best operatic performance yet. Midnight and 3 a.m. are the best times for singing scales at both the top and bottom of the stairs. Very nice accoustics there, you know. A twinge of stage-fright was making his fur stand on end just a little. What if his voice gave out just as he started to sing? There would be so many blue eyes on him. So many of them would belong to prominent meezer dignitaries. He fretted some more. He told himself that he had been keeping himself in shape by eating as much tuna, chicken and rich delicacies as he could lay his paws on. It just wouldn't do if he didn't fill his tux properly. Oh, no! Would his meowmy find time to get his tux ready? She seemed kind of stressed these days, but surely she must realize that this was far more important.... Hmmm -- purrhaps a little nap would help him relax before the purrformance.... zzzzzzzzz.
Hector []
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Kanoa and Random dashed out the door to pick up Baxter's new wedding finery. They were back in ten minutes.

"Why are you carrying bedsheets?" Baxter asked.

"These aren't bedsheets. These are the set-ups for your toga," Random replied. "Come here, Bax, and I'll help you into this thing. Kanoa will read the directions on how to put it together."

"Here we go," Kanoa said. "Take the large white sheet and wrap it around Baxter. Tie the corners securely at the shoulder. Take the other large white sheet and wrap it around Baxter the other way. Tie the corners securely on the other shoulder. Now take the golden sheet, drape it fashionably askew over Baxter's shoulders, and fasten it with the boss-looking Roman antique artifact pin. Good. Now, Baxter, you put on the Roman sandles, and Random will put your wreath crown on your head."

"How do I look?" Baxter asked.

"Ready for the Roman Senate or for Animal House," Remington nodded.
Baxter []
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“This bow makes my butt look big!” Shy little Sorrel stood by the mirror in the meezette dressing room and shook her head.

"I don't look good in fuchsia, and this bow makes my butt look huge, but if this is what Kiri wants us to wear...."
Sorrel []
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Roxanne, resplendent in black leather, spiked collar and with a shiny new set of brass knuckles, drove up on her motorcycle, two woodchippers in tow. One was for making ice, and the other was for Enforcement. Both were festively decorated -- the icemaker woodchipper with white ribbons, flowers, and "best wishes!", and the Enforcement woodchipper with black ribbons, skulls and crossbones.

"YO!" she called to Incoming. "Toss me the spare keys to your helicopter, just in case we need them!"

Incoming threw the keys, and the feral caught them with a practiced movement.

"Woodchipper keys for you," she whistled, throwing something back at Incoming.

"Thanks!"

Roxanne nodded to Pendragon. She would have said something, but Pen was too busy biting Duncan's tail.

"Yo, Mandy!" she greeted the Mandynator. "I'm here, and so are the woodchippers, although one of them is for icemaking only -- the pretty one with all the fancy crap on it."

"Got it," Mandy nodded.

Mandy suddenly was startled to see that Roxanne, Incoming and Pendragon were all putting on little flower boutonnieres.

"This one is for you," Roxanne said, handing Mandy a flower. "It ain't no flower. It squirts mace, serves as a walkie-talkie, and has a little camera inside of it. Got it in Israel from Incoming and his friends at Special Forces."
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
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Miss SuShi was first out of the Royal Carriage, drawn by Gorjuss the Canadian white shepherd doggie. She helped usher HRH Purrincess Kiwi into a door at the side of the building, ring bearer Purrince Rudie in tow. Gorjuss dropped Grampa Kato and Wicca at the main entrance and then went to join the other doggies, including his friend Partner with the blackened leggies, in the big doghouse.

SuShi was dispatched by Kiwi to check on the assembling crowd. Many had arrived early, and were mingling around the horsie durvies tables that had considerately been set up by Ailsa. Firecracker Kid gazed balefully at SuShi from across the room – Su was resplendent in her Maid of honour gown – a lovely combination of peacock feathers and meezer eye blue velvet.

Thank goodness Kiwi came to her senses and decided against the nasty fuchsia taffeta dresses with the honkin’ butt bows!” she giggled to LeeLee. LeeLee laughed, delicate fish oil perfume wafting through the air from her fishhead earrings. “Yes, she sent that meowessage out last minute – thank heavens I was able to get mine fitted in time!”

Then to her horror, Sushi noticed bridesmaid Sorrel had worn the fuchsia gown!
Lady Sushi []
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After secretly dropping off Finnian and Bean in the capable paws of INCOMING, Grampa Kato caught up with and escorted his date Wicca to the dignitaries area and made sure she was comfortably ensconced in a faux fur covered lounger beside his dear friend Sheba. “May I bring you lovely geezettes anything before I go prepare for my duties for HRH Kiwi?”
Sheba asked for a hot salmon toddy to toast her bones from the long journey, and warmly welcomed Wicca. Wicca purred and said anything will be fine, and smiled at the revered Sheba. Grampa Kato thought Wicca looked marvelous and cool – at least ten years younger in her vintage Betsy Johnson gown. She had even considerately worn a small brown velveteen ribbon – the symbol for remembrance of veterans of the Great Raccoon Wars. They all waved to PC and Kairo, who were at the table opposite them.
Grandpa Kato []
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Ribbons and Bailey made it safe and sound. Panda had dug deep into his pawkets and had hired a limo for the pair to arrive in style. Even though Ribbons had come along as music assistant, they both secretly hoped fan the heat of the spark that had started during the singles date thingie. Ribbons was very smartly dressed in a tight-waisted 50’s three-quarter length rockabilly gown patterned with red cherries and wore matching red pumps. Her earrings of ruby red cardinal feathers caught the eye of every kitten and cat!

Panda’s 1969 Pawntiac GTO was parked at the entrance upon their arrival; he was busy unloading the last of the music. He greeted Ribbons with a big, toofy grin, and punched Bailey affectionately on the shoulder. Bailey laughed and pointed at a large, Tootsie-esque gal who was having obvious trouble with her heels. “Doesn’t that schtripeddy meezette look jut like Marley? Uncanny!” Ribbons chuckled and helped Panda carry in the rest of the wedding mewsic CDs for the reception. He noticed the fine twirl of her skirt with delight – he loved a gal who was strong enough to carry a case of CDs and look so purrty! He was pleased that he had Massimo and Toula to help out if he wanted to dance with Ribbons.

"Didn't Kipling and Dickens do a fine job decorating?" Ribbons exclaimed. "Sean-Worian deWeeble's flowers are incredible. I hear Clyde tried to eat them all!"

Bailey piped up, "Aaack! I furgot my guitar in the back of the limo! I better go get someone to help me get it back - see you dudes later!" and away he went in search of Rama.
Panda []
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Oh look, PC. Grandpa Kato and Wicca are here. No, not over there...straight ahead and slightly to the left. They're joining Sheba. Such a lovely trio. And wasn't it thoughtful for Wicca to wear a brown ribbon in honor of those Raccoon War veterans?
Grandpa certainly has his paws full today, between his official responsibilities, escorting Wicca and keeping an eye on those young rascals Finnian and Bean. I think In-Coming is planning to help with the lads, so that's a big load off his velvety paws.
Purrhaps we'll have a chance to chat with them soon. I haven't seen Kato since our adventure in Vegas, and would love to meet Wicca and Sheba.
PC? PC? Oh that's ok sweetie...a little snooze before the ceremony is good.
Kairo looked lovingly at the sleeping PC, shifted her tail protectively over his back and settled in for a last-minute nap.
Kairo []
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Having sent SuShi off to check out the crowd, Purrincess Kiwi was alone for a precious few moments. She collected her thoughts in front of the old standup mirror in the changing room. “It wasn’t so long ago that I was afraid to look at my reflection in a mirror,” she thought nervously. “My hackles raised high as a grizzly bear’s eye the furrst time I saw a mirror! Thought it was another meezette!”

“Somewhere in the building is my Remykins – I wonder what he is thinking?” she dreamed. “This is the happiest day of my life! Mmm and these salmon bonbons are good.”

Her hair was coiffed in a soft halo around her chocolatey face. Taking the sassily put advice of her hairdresser Roshi, she had opted for the more youthful Sagwa look rather than the stern Wedge updo that pulled her fur back so tightly the whites of her eyes showed! She could no longer purretend to be a wedgie, even if she had looked that way as a kitten.

She smoothed down her new, snow white silk gown and prepared to put it on. The bodice was decorated with fine white puffballs made from swan eiderdown. Already fastened around her neck was “something borrowed”: a white pearl on velvet choker on loan from SuShi, which had been a gift from dear Capitan Hawke when he courted her during his final voyage. A blue peacock feather garter made up the “something blue.” But she was missing “something old!” What to do?

“I wish SuShi and the others would get back here soon! I need help!”
Purrincess Kiwi []
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Excuse me, Kiwi dear. I'd like to make a small contribution by way of "something old." Kairo pawed into her delicate blue brocade evening bag and pulled out a small object. It's one of my favorite sparkle balls, I've had it for at least 10 years. I know the silver isn't as shiny as the new ones, but I'd be so honored if you could find a place for it in your wedding attire. With a slightly shaky paw, Kairo handed the treasured ball to the lovely Kiwi. And now I've got to get back to PC. He's been napping for a while and will wonder where I've gone. Brushing a stray hair from Kiwi's forhead, the little geezette left the dressing room and headed back to the festivities.
Kairo []
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Cat Springer made his entrance and looked around for a familiar face. He didn't recognize anyone. Then he felt a paw trip him. He looked up. He seemed to know they eyes on this beautiful bride but he wasn't quite sure! HRH Kiwi..... No she looks so different. WoW his tail came to attention. No.... couldn't be could it? You don't recognize me do you, she purred. It really is me. There's less of me for Remy to love but now we are both tubular. Quite an accomplishment wouldn't you say. Cat Springer looks around for his business manager to get the contract signed for the .... "Wait till you see me now show ". He remembers to tuck in his tail when he sees Roxanne head in his direction.
Cat Springer []
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"A little champagne, please," Wicca purrs to the handsome Kato. She's quite pleased at the way her pedicure turned out, and that scarlet polish really shows off against her dainty brown paws. She is a little unnerved by all the strangers, but determined not to show it. Everything will be fine if someone keeps Finnian and Bean busy, or at least confined to the kiddie table. "Good God, I hope Finnian doesn't start sucking his belly in front of all these elegant cats! I will be mortified!"
Wicca []
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Roxanne, Incoming, Pendragon and the Mandynator were looking at the festively decorated woodchipper that had been turned into an icemaker and crusher for the wedding.

"Where did you get the idea to decorate it?" Mandynator asked Roxanne.

"I beat up Martha Stewart for tips," Roxanne laughed.

All of a sudden, the hackles went up on all four meezers. They turned to one another.

"What's that smell?" Incoming choked.

"It's Cat Springer!" Roxanne gasped. "His bad toupee just triggered a stink bomb we had hidden in the back of the hall just in case he showed up!"

"Let's get him out of here before the Board of Health closes us down!" Pendragon growled. Together, the security meezers rushed the hall and collared poor Cat Springer.

"Out you go, but let's do the world a favor and shred that dreadful toupee!"

Roxanne pulled off Cat Springer's toupee and threw it into the HP-2500 UltraMegaWoodchipper, the one decorated in black crepe ribbons with skulls and crossbones. The toupee flew out the back as bits of fluff.

"Have a nice day!" Incoming and Pendragon said as they deposited the now wigless Cat Springer outside the wedding hall and on the curb where garbage pick-ups would take place.

Just before turning to join the others inside, Roxanne whispered into Cat Springer's ear, "Now you know why Dr. Phil is bald!"
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
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After a few hours of tasting, Brechin settled down to the matter at hand, The room was just filled, pawsitively filled, with meezerettes. Luckily he had a ready supply of roses, and nip cream bon bons. He wore a morning coat and a silk waistcoat of the McKintore tartan.

Sir Kelso, Laird of Kintore & Fina, arrived and took his place amongst the dignitaries, he wore the full formal dress kilt. And looked resplendant. He did not spare a glance for the many ladies who gave him second and third glances, his heart was lost, indeed, belonged to a meezerette far away.
The Great Scots []
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Pepe Joe bent over Sister Wimples and fanned her frantically with his Book of Occasional Services. He had long lost his bookmark during all the commotion and desperately needed Sr. Wimples’ help in finding his place. He was anxiously searching Wimples face for signed of ferretness when he looked up and saw Paprika grinning broadly. “Paprika, my dear!” Pepe Joe sighed. “I know it may be a bit humorous to you but look what you’ve done!” Try as he might to be angry, Pepe Joe couldn’t help grinning and soon he was guffawing with Paprika over the incident. Poor Wimples awoke only to find Pepe Joe and Paprika giggling and snorting over her like school kids. Needless to say, Wimples was not pleased when she awoke.

Leaving Paprika to deal with Sister Wimples, Pepe Joe hurried to the antechamber where he heard the boys scuffling about. “Baxter? You look, uh, very interesting!” Pepe Joe turned and gave Remy and Sebastian a questioning look as if to say, “What the heck is he wearing?!?” Sebastian shrugged and explained that Baxter’s tux didn’t fit. “Well, I LIKE it, Baxter!” Pepe Joe told the confused-looking meezer and slapped him heartily on the back. “It suits you! And Lola will simply faint when she sees how handsome and, uh, how original you are!”

By the time Pepe Joe made his way back to Sister Wimples, she had awoken, located his bookmark, marked his place in the Book of Occasional Services, and laid it safely on the table. Giving her a grateful look and noting that her habit was somewhat askew, Pepe Joe smoothed his own robe and sneaked out through the curtain to greet the dignitaries and geezers that had begun to assemble…
Pepe Joe []
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“Man! I gotta get some of these flowers for the LMSGA! Hey Incoming! You got a catalog or something for this stuff?” With the exception of Brutus, her LMSGA special agent that had twice the normal number of whiskers and who had been able to pick up the Al Catta transmission, The Mandynator’s security organization was pretty low-tech. She’s always wanted to stock her agency with tiny cameras, shoe phones and the like.

But at least she employed an attorney. And The Mandynator had a feeling Roxanne was going to need one after tossing Cat Springer’s coiffure into the woodchipper. He looked pretty darn mad. But she had to admit it was a really cool looking woodchipper all decorated up like that and all that blonde fur it was spitting out into the air was just too cool for words.

“Samuel Gene!” The Mandynator snapped. “Stop playing with those kittens and wheel that icemaker into the hall!” She proceeded to bark orders to her staff while scanning the crowd with an experienced crossed eye…
The Mandynator []
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Cat Springer regained his composure. He gathered up his handsome feline bodyguard hulks and marched right up to Roxanne to protest. The only sound he could muster when faced with her glare sounded suspiciously like SUE, SUE, SUE. Soon he was surrounded by his legal advisors. For now they will settle on obtaining a restraining order. He turns to his legal team and asks them to check whether the woodchipper is licensed as a dangerous weapon. Let's destroy this feline financially. We'll take away her resources. We'll send her back to the feral community. The legal advisors get busy with the paperwork.
Cat Springer []
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Niko and Chance arrived, Niko slightly out of breath from trying to keep up with Chance. A handsome young seal point ran by them mumbling something about forgetting his guitar. Niko piped up, “Well, if they need any music fill in, I have my harmonica!” Chance rolled his eyes and said, “No wonder we can't ever get dates! You need to leave that thing at home. Look around you. Does this look like the place for a harmonica? It's a ROYAL wedding, remember?” Niko glared and said, “Let's go grab some horsie durves and find a seat.”
Niko and Chance []
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Bailey retrieved his guitar case from the limo driver and walked slowly back, smiling and nodding to ever-growing crowd of wedding guests. When he arrived back at Panda's GTO, it looked like it had been completely unloaded....he looked around for Ribbons and Panda, but they were nowhere to be found...he turned to walk into the Great Hall when he thought he heard giggling coming from the back seat of the GTO that sounded like Ribbons. "Mom.....? Is that you...?" Ribbons head shot up with a surprised and embarrassed look..."yes, we're here...I was just...uuummm...helping Pandie...uuummm....Mr. Panda...look for something.....uuummmm....." Panda's head appeared, and he stammered " Yes...uummm...errrr...we were just looking for a CD I needed for the ceremony...uuummm.....uuummm...." Panda reached down to the floor and blindly groped about, his paw finally finding a CD case, and he held it up..."aaaahhhh - here it is...! uuummmm...welllll, THAT's where it got to...uuummm...thanks so much for the help, Ms. Ribbons...uummm..." Bailey took it from him and looked at it quizzically, turning it over and over..."Microsoft Windows 95 Operating System....?"....Panda quickly snatched it back, stuffing it into his CD case "yes...uuummm...an obscure...uuummmm....Canadian band...uuummm...very popular a few years back...uuummm...before your time, young Bailey...uuummmm..." Panda straightened his tie, and pulled out his pocket watch..."ohhh my...uuummm...look at the time...! uummm....well...errr....we really must get inside and get set up...!" Panda helped Ribbons from the car and they headed inside, with Bailey following...Bailey noticed Panda's paw nonchalantly reaching to take Ribbons'...he nodded and thought "looking for a CD...yeah, right...!"....
As they entered the Great Hall, Bailey looked slowly up and gasped...the ceiling was immense....!!! He peered waaay up to the top, and thought he could see a small ledge on the molding running all the way around the ceiling...he gasped in awe and said silently to himself "look at that, will you...? WOOOHOOO....!! why, I could easily...."....Ribbons, with her motherly gift of "eyes in the back of her head", interrupted his reverie without even turning around, saying "Don't even think about it, Young Meeze...."
Bailey []
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"Aren't we almost finished with this, Kip?" Dickens begged as he hot-glued the last flowers and sparkle balls to the formidable ice chipper. "Can't wait to get as far from Roxanne as we can. Man, she scares me!"
"She's over there with Incoming and Mandy, I think." muttered Kipling as he stuffed the Scotch Tape roll in his tool kit. He slid his eyes to the corner of the hall where he'd seen her last, but she was gone.
Suddenly a tough-sounding voice bellowed from behind them. "You little ankle-biters done here?" Roxanne was looming over them. The boys shrank against each other as they looked up at the menacing, leather-bound cat. "Uh. Yep, Ms. Roxanne. All done here. Now we gotta go attach a festive string of Fancy Feast cans to the back of the royal getaway coaches...bye." Dickens and Kipling tore off, with Roxanne yelling at their departing tails, "Make sure you keep outta everybody's way."
The boys exchanged a heartfelt look of relief. Kipling winked at his pal. "It's high time we had some fun at this party,"
Kipling and Dickens []
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Sammy Gene had finally arrived with Maya Boo and looked so grown up in his new black tux. He tried standing nonchalantly on the curb next to the beautiful and composed Maya Boo. For a moment he actually looked somewhat noble and dignified but that lasted about 2 minutes. As soon as he saw the kittens, he lost all his composure. You see, Sammy Gene loved kittens and could never resist the opportunity to play. He had helped buy his new tuxedo with his kitten sittin’ money.

“Hey Incoming! Wutcha got dere? Dose kittens are wealwy cute an stuff! Wot’s dere names?” Incoming looked really relieved as he introduced Finnian and Bean to Sammy Gene. Soon Sammy Gene and the kittens were rolling around on the sidewalk, batting at each other’s butts, giggling and being generally obnoxious. “Samuel Gene!” Maya Boo hissed. “Behave yourself! You’re a grown meezer for goodness sakes!” Sammy Gene stood up and brushed himself off sheepishly.

“Hey, kids! Ya wanna help me push dis icechipper guy into dat ballwoom? Is dat OK, Mr. Incoming?” Incoming seemed to look relieved and nodded. “I can bwing em wight back an stuff.” Sammy Gene positioned Finnian on one side of the icechipper and Bean on the other. “OK, push!” The kittens were so proud to think they were helping out and Sammy Gene got a big kick out of that. He wistfully remembered all the kind older meezers that had made him feel useful when he was just an insecure and awkward little kitten. Mr. Capan Hawke Sir immediately came to mind. Sammy Gene fought back a tear and proceeded to push the ice chipper through the grand doors. The kittens huffed and grunted like little men and the three of them followed the gaily decorated ice chipper into the hall…
Sammy Gene []
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Click, click, click went the flashbulbs. OH GREAT! The pawpawratzi's have spotted me without my toupee, groaned Cat Springer. I can just imagine the National Enquirer's front page. RATS! RATS! RATS! I'll never live this down. My rating will plummet. I'll get that over-rated vicious feral who is posing as security. Her popularity is going to her tail! She can't get away with this! he yelled, “I’m gonna sue Roxanne! My lawyers will be contacting her!”
Cat Springer []
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”Shhhhhhh,” the timid Samson whispered. "This is a Royal Wedding. I'm so excited I can hardly "contain myself" as he shifted his feet and lifted his tail with that all too familiar quiver.
Samson []
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Sebastian straightened the sleeves on his tux one last time and ran a paw around his collar. He didn't remember it feeling this tight when he went for the fitting. He rolled his shoulders then looked over at Remington Seal, wondering if he was as nervous as Seb felt. Remy looked like one cool cat...but on closer examination, Sebastian noticed Remy twirling a cuff link with a claw.

"Okay, okay. Straighten up, boys. Whiskers outs! Assistant!" The photographer was barking out orders to his assistant while at the same time trying to set up the perfect pose for the grooms' picture. "Remy has a whisker out of place!" Remington jerked his head back as the assistant grabbed the whisker and, failing to get it in place, simply plucked it out.

"YEEEOOOOW!" Remy took a swipe at the assistant, who smiled sheepishly and showed him a puff ball. "Put that away!!!" the photographer screamed! "I need him focused on ME, not that stupid puffball!" Sebastian grabbed Remy's tails and dragged him away from the assistant and enticing puff ball.

"Not now, Remy. The wedding. Remember? Purrincess Kiwi? If you have a puff ball in your mouth in one of these pictures, she will make your life HELL!"

Remington Seal sighed then moved his sleek and muscular body next to Sebastian. Baxter was still nowhere to be seen.

"I can't wait any longer. There are some grumpy brides waiting to have their picture made and may the great meezer God in the sky forgive me if I make THEM angry." The photographer adjusted the focus on the lens.

"THEM? Auntie Simchah's THEM?" Sebastian looked confused.

"No! No!" The photographer gave Sebastian a sharp look. "Them. The brides. Geez. It's hell taking pictures of one meezer bride. But NO. I have THREE! It will be a miracle if I make it through this day." He stroked his whiskers, looked critically at the two handsome meezers and then barked, "That's great! Don't move a hair or whisker!"

*CLICK*
Sebastian []
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"Yo! Would ya hurry up? You're really starting ta piss me off!"

The photographer shot a nervous glance at Pendragon, who twirled his gangsta-style watch angrily. He helped his assistant make the final adjustments to the background the moody striped fluffenator had insisted on. "Zoltran. What is Zoltran? Why me?" The photographer shook his head wearily. It was going to be a long day.

"What the hell is your problem?" Pendragon spat at the photographer. He snickered when the photographer gave a small squeal and ran to his camera. "Nothing, sir, Pen, sir," the photographer stammered. "I...I...just want to make sure you look great." He bent down over his camera. "I wonder if I would be sweating profusely right now if I could sweat?" he muttered to himself.

Pen extracted his long, sharp claws for effect...and noticed that white hair still clung to one of them. "Stupid fat-ass snowball." Pen plucked the offensive fur off his claw and flicked it onto the ground. "YO! You! Assistant!" Pen pointed a claw toward the nervous cat standing off to the side. "Check out my teeth, would ya? Any blood? Fur? Slime?" The assistant visibly blanched then peered into Pendragon's grinning mouth. "N-n-n-n-no sir. They look...very white. And sharp. Yes. Very sharp." The assistant run off behind a tree. Pen's grin grew broader as he heard the assistant vomit.

"Please, Sir, Mr. Pendragon Sir. Ah, er, would you mind not showing your teeth? Ah, er, it, um, is, well, not really appropriate for a wedding photo."

"Only for Sebastian," Pen thought. He almost grinned again but caught himself. "At least Seb was cool about me wanting to wear this gangsta outfit! Wait till Roxanne gets a look at this!" He glared at the camera.

*CLICK*
Pendragon []
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Duncan settled his large bulk on the hammock that was strung between two trees on the large lawn overlooking the sparkling bay. He pushed his sombrero back on his head then changed his mind and pulled it forward again. He was very careful not to crush the single red rose he held in his beefy paw.

He saw little Viviane scamper down the lawn at full tilt in search of Mandy -- The Mandynator to everyone else. Duncan frowned at the little seal point's retreating behind. He'd had to bribe her handsomely to do his bidding. Brat! He hoped she wouldn't get distracted and join in the kitten wrestling near the front door before locating Mandy and giving her his message.

Duncan shifted again as a paw fell asleep underneath his body. He resisted the urge to check under his sombrero one last time for the red velvet box. Mandy sure did have a surprise coming to her, he grinned!
Duncan []
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Viviane raced down the long, green expanse of grass toward the castle where the royal weddings were to take place. A butterfly flew in front of her and she veered off course to give chase for a few minutes before resuming toward the castle. She was delighted to discover several young half-grown kittens playing in the front. She leaped into the middle of the fray and immediately started wrestling with Laz.

"Viviane!" The little seal point jerked up at the stern voice. "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the wedding? Look at that! A grass stain on your coat!" Viviane looked guilty as she began a quick wash-up with her tongue.

Mozart stomped over. "Here, let me help. Lady Baby is beside herself! The wedding photographer is taking pictures of the grooms and groomsmen right now. The brides and bridesmaid are next and you aren't even dressed! Where have you been?"

"Wif Duncan," she said in a low voice. She almost regretted her insistence to be a bridesmaid. All the kittens were having so much fun out here. And that Sammy Gene was fun! Still....it was going to be pretty neat being a part of the wedding of the century.

Mozart finished cleaning her up and patted her gently on the bottom. "Now, go on. I'm sure there are plenty of meezettes there to help you get dressed."

Viviane started to run off then stopped. "I almost forgot. I was supposed to give The Mandynator a message from Duncan."

Mozart raised his eyes. "Where is Duncan? I thought he was going to be helping with security? Give me the message -- I'll get it to The Mandynator."

"Okay!" Viviane gave the balled up piece of paper to Mozart then dashed off into the castle. Mozart looked at the paper and resisted an urge to open it. Glancing around for the dimunitive chocolate point, he turned toward the sound of a woodchipper firing up. He loped toward the noise and saw The Mandynator admiring Roxanne's newest toy. Nodding to Roxanne, Mozart ambled up to The Mandynator and slyly slipped her the note. He watched her read it and her eyes go wide.

"Uh, Roxanne? Can you take over security for a little bit? I need to check something out." The Mandynator balled up the note in her paw.

"Sure! No problem. But don't be too long. There's a bunch of paparazzi just trying to sneak around to where the wedding photos are taking place." Roxanne shook her head. It didn't appear as though Mandy even heard her. She watched her friend take off at a full run, her tail straight up in the air.

"Yeah, well, the paparazzi will DIE trying to sneak around. I can't wait to toss one in this woodchipper!" Incoming smacked his lips then slapped Jake on the back. "Or let our Jakey boy here sit on one."
Viviane []
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Fiona glared at Micky one last time, sniffed and then disappeared behind the door where nervous giggles and chittering could be heard. She had her duties as bridesmaid to perform. Micky watched her go, dejectedly. How was he supposed to know that he had to pick her up? Last he knew, they were still going to take a raven or something. But when he finally answered Fiona’s call (well, he was napping) his lovely tortie date almost bit his head off. He hurriedly tried to organize a limo but the last one was already booked by Panda. His only recourse was to saddle old “Sak Sarel” and hope Fiona wouldn’t mind sharing a horse ride to the wedding.

She minded.

A lot.

Ah well. Deciding to make the most of his free time, Micky adjusted his suit, glanced around and waved to some of the meezers he recognised. There were a lot that he’s never seen before. He helped himself to some catnip punch and sauntered to a suitable sunny spot. Quaffing his drink, Micky made himself comfortable on the cushions thoughtfully provided for all the guests and resumed his bachelor duty of ogling all the svelt, gorgeous meezettes while his date was otherwise engaged.
Micky []
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My My My, thought paprika adjusting her black silk cloak. There are a lot of very handsome male meezers around here in some pretty fine threads. Paprika chuckled. Not into it. She was delighted at Duncan, now didn't he look sharp in that sombrero.

She was also pleased to see her daughter's date in a purple suit of amazingly good taste and cut.

Then her eyes caught sight of Pen in a sort of Doc Holliday outfit. That's appropriate, she said, and glided over to him.

Nice to see you Pen, she prurrgrowled. Your outfit suits you. Say I wonder if you had set your baby blue glims on that blonde over there hanging drunkenly on the arm of Kenmore. I think she begs for some close attention. Check it out.
Paprika []
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Rama had never seen so many cats in one place since he'd left Meowmy Misha's house. Swaggering around, he noticed Micky lounging around on soft pillows, gledging at the women. Being a young cat himself, he thought it would be cool to get some pointers from his handsome friend on how to be a bachelor. Nikki had been in his face for several days, telling him to behave himself and make a good impression (it was, after all, a ROYAL wedding and she didn't want Rama to embarrass her). Fat chance, he said to himself as he clamped his silver cowboy hat more firmly on to his head. This was a party!
Rama the Red []
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Hector woke up refreshed and saw that his tux had been cleaned and pressed. About time, he thought. He got dressed and inspected himself in the mirror. The tux was cut to fit his ample girth and he thought he filled it out pretty well. With a twirl he put on a sweeping black cape and got his lucky white hankerchief. Now he was ready to go.

His limo arrived and, grabbing some chicken so he wouldn't waste away on the trip, he was on his way to the wedding.

When he arrived, he couldn't believe his eyes. This was the first time he had attended a meezer gala, and he could see that this was going to be the wedding of the century. He was particularly impressed by the large ice-making contraption covered in flowers and sparkle balls. It looked suspiciously like a woodchipper.... but it was producing an impressive amount of chipped ice. Mmmmm, he thought, 'a catnip daquiri would hit the spot right about now', as he made his way among the well-dressed crowd.
Hector []
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Nikki eyed Sorrel critically. "Your butt isn't that bad, Sorrel," she told her. "After all, look at my belly, this bridesmaid's dress of mine doesn't exactly make ME look slim either."

She squeaked with excitement and trotted back and forth in front of the mirror. The dress was a bit tight but if she sucked her tummy in and didn't eat too much, it should last the day.

"Where's Lola? I hafta help get her ready, and I brought along a special garter for her to wear!" She giggled at the thought of Baxter at the reception, trying to remove the garter from Lola's leg with his teeth.
Nikki []
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Finally somebody gots dem kittens outta my fur - WHERES DAT NIP???! I'd rather face a gazillion bad guys dan keep one kitten out of trouble! And look wot dey done to my fur!!! Dey was playin wif my tailickie!

Hey PEN - Dere's some serious shpine-bitin needed over dere by dat bald guy an his shysters. An I'd let it slip dat a little birdie tole me dat dere's an underage meezerette "personal assistant" in a certain hide-away in a certain hoitietoitie resort, if ya knows wot I means (nudge nudge wink wink).

Now I needs a catnap over here behind dat woodchipper trailer.
Incoming []
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Jura and Fidra were hovering around Lola making sure all of the fastenings on her dress were done just so, assuring her that despite the views of certain groomsmeezers and meezerettes of honour, she was the most beautimous bride ever. Jura snuck a peek out at the gathering throng of meezers in time to see a handsome blue point arrive, he wore a sweeping cape and had a definite air of refinement. 'Why that's Sir Hector, the Brave,' she realized suddenly. ' He's very handsome...' she made it a point to go and speak to him as soon as her duties were discharged. And no fair using torti magick, she reminded herself sternly.
The Great Scots []
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The Mandynator was startled when Mozart slipped the wadded paper into her hand. “What’s this, Mozart?”, Mandy whispered. “Just read it, hon. And you should probably read it now”, Mozart whispered back winking playfully. The Mandynator quickly scanned the note, then grabbed onto the woodchipper to steady herself. Quickly excusing herself and promising Roxanne and Incoming that she’d be back as soon as possible, she grabbed her First Aid Kit and sped across the road like a meezette out of hell and onto the greens surrounding the castle.

She stopped suddenly to smooth her crisp new LMSGA uniform and straighten her armband and smart beret. It was only then that the full implications of sweet Duncan’s note hit her. “Oh dear, oh dear”, The Mandynator thought anxiously. “Whatever will I do? I never expected a meezer to be interested in me, especially one so lovable and handsome as Duncan! And I’m not even wearing a dress, for cryin’ out loud.”

Realizing that she was probably keeping Sir Duncan waiting, she took off again galloping as fast as she could to the wooded section by the bay. When she spied Duncan sprawled out on the hammock she slowed to a nonchalant walk trying desperately to catch her breathe and regain her composure. She was The Mandynator, after all. Cool, calm, collected and in control… that was her trademark.

She could hear Duncan snoring as she approached. He looked so handsome and so comfortable stretched out on that hammock. Throwing caution to the wind, The Mandynator reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek.
The Mandynator []
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As soon as Sammy Gene and the boys had wheeled the ice chipper up to the horse durvies table, Finnian and Bean started batting at the low hanging Spawkew Bawws that Dickens and Kipling had attempted to string from the ceiling. As the kids leapt up onto the table to try to get at them, Sammy Gene felt a tugging on the back of his tuxedo coat. Turning around he realized it was Baby Laz.

Smiling, Sammy Gene lifted Laz up and opened his eyes widely. “Waz! Does Mr. Incoming know dat you followed us guys in here? You wook so pwetty in yur wittle pink dwess and stuff. Ifin yur hungwy, I can get ya some of dem mouse balls or sumfin.” Laz giggled and suddenly squirmed out of Sammy Gene’s grasp. Just then a little seal blur streaked by and before Sammy Gene could catch either one of them, Laz and Viviane bounded up on the table to join the boys. Soon all four kittens were tearing up and down the horse durvies table, leaping up to bat the Spawkew Bawws and causing trays of finger food to go flying every which way. Then, to make matters worse, Clyde, Sean-Worian and the Firecracker Kid evidently couldn’t resist the temptation and joined in on the havoc.

As Sammy Gene ran back and forth trying to nab the kittens, he hollered for help. “Somebudy bwing me some Wescue Wemedy punch! Wike NOW and stuff!” Thankfully, Ailsa, Ribbons, Mr. Meezleton and Panda immediately ran to his aid and soon they were all running around and around the long table pleading with the kids to calm down. It wasn’t going too well until Rama The Red suddenly appeared and, seeing a real live cowboy meezer, all the younguns stopped right in their tracks giving the breathless adults a chance to grab the squirming and giggling heathens. Cream cheese stuffed mousies, lizard tar-tar and shicken-on-a-shtick lay strewn all around the table.

Ailsa started cleaning up straight away while the all the rest lay in a heap trying to catch their breath. It was then that they heard some strange and wonderful sounds. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la… they all turned to look and realized that Hector was up on the stage practicing his scales. “Wow, that sounds funny, Unca Sammy”, Viviane squealed. The boys started giggling and Sammy Gene gave them all a rare stern look. “Don’t waugh now kids. Dat’s opewa. It’s weal hard to do an stuff. Ifin ya wisten weal cwose yur gonna wike it. I pwomise!”, Sammy Gene explained patiently. The kittens realized that Sammy Gene was trying to explain that they were being impolite so they quieted down. Soon Hector broke into a beautiful and slightly sad Aria. Bailey joined in with some sweet classical guitar and then Niko’s harmonica added a beautiful harmony.

Soon everyone in the hall stopped what they were doing and listened raptly as the song lilted through the air. Even SamPC stirred from his peaceful nap and Lady Kairo quickly cupped a loving paw around PC's ear so he could hear better. Sammy Gene was enjoying the music so much that he failed to notice something was sucking on his belly…
Sammy Gene []
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Hector watched the kaffufle around the horse durvies table and grinned. Kittens do make royal galas so much more interesting, but seeing all that scrumptious fuud flying about was making him hungry again. He thought puurhaps he should begin warming up his voice. He removed his cape and stepped to the side of the stage to begin practicing his scales. He was so honoured when Bailey, that brilliant young guitarist, and bluesman Niko came to the stage to get set up with him. His stage fright disappeared as he gazed out on the crowd. Eyes began to turn towards him and he decided this would be an appropriate time to set the mood for the event.

He began with a new love song he had practiced just for this special occasion.
Love ballad for the Royal Wedding

The accompanying music of Bailey and Niko set just the right mood as the crowd settled in to listen. He followed with his greatest hit:
Hector’s greatest hit

As he finished, he caught a glimpse of a beautiful bridesmaid gazing at him from the doorway of the bride’s dressing room. He didn’t even hear the crowd or the new piece of music Bailey and Niko had begun to play. He blushed. Puurhaps he could muster the courage to ask her to dance at the reception later…
Hector []
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The d*ggies out in the d*ghouse pricked up their ears. “Hef hef! That is such an awesome, yet eerie sound, huh guys?” asked Gorjuss.

“Yeah,” remarked Partner. “Makes my hackles stand on end!”

“I agree,” said Selkie the mermaid/dalmeezer. ““Why can’t they have the Wolf Howl Chorus singers like we do at our events? We oughta give em a REAL serenade later!"

The weiner dawgs yipped in agreement.
Gorjuss []
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Kiwi took the precious offering from Ms Kairo with a tears in her big blue eyes. “Thank you so meowch! I am honoured. Fank you.” She tucked the spawkawwbaww into her bosom, and turned to face SuShi, who had come in with Sorrel and Grampa Kato to escort her down the stairs.

“Aaack! Kiwi, your dress is unfastened at the back!” Sushi ran over and zipped her in. “There! Now you are all set. You look great, ‘Wi.”

"Sorrel! You wore the fuchsia dress!" gasped Kiwi. "I LOVE you!" Beaming from ear to ear, Kiwi hugged shy Sorrel with all her heart.

Wimples stuck her head in to alert the bride and her entourage that things were starting, and to get thine hairy butts downstairs. With a sage smile, Grampa took HRH by the arm, and they proceeded down to the entrance hall.
Purrincess Kiwi []
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“I gots the rings! I gots the rings!” Rudie screeched, and purroudly leapt from under the bed to the top of the door with grace of his namesake, Rudolph Nureyev. 6 wedding rings and 2 gold bands for Ms Kairo and Sam PC glittered on his extra long tail. “Where is effurybody?”
Purrince Rudolph []
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The Duchess, with her Full House Kits in tow, arrived at the wedding festivities just as things were getting started. She did indeed look royal in her gown of ivory lace with chocolate brown highlights. The lovely gown complimented her glowing blue meezer eyes.

As the Duchess led the Full House Kits to their seats, meezers and meezettes alike turned to look at the beauty of the Duchess and Daks. Daks, who had let the Duchess select her gown, looked resplendent in pale lemon yellow, setting her seal points off to purrfection.

The boys brought up the rear, Hut the Magnificat in a stunning suit of charcoal black, and Sidney Pawtier and Wide Body Bob in rented tux-tents.

The Duchess settled everyone in their seats, and just as she sat down, the music began.
The Duchess of Yowl []
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Kipling and Dickens were carried along by the throng of meezers heading for seats. As they gazed around, able to finally get a panoramic view of the extravaganza, their jaws dropped in awe.
"Oh, wow," Kipling gasped. "Will you look at all the sparkles and glitter? Aren't we lucky to be here? Isn't this magic?"
"Mfff, pbbzt."
Kipling looked over at his little pal, Dickens, whose cheeks were bulging with food.
"Doof! You stuffed your pockets with horse durvies, didn't ya?" He gave Dickens a stern look, then whispered..."Er, didja happen to snag any of those tuna puffs?"
The boys looked at each other and exploded into a giggling fit, and, in spite of the solemnity of the occasion, couldn't seem to stop. Glaring and frowning meezer faces turned toward them.
"YOU--KIPLING AND DICKENS. WANNA LEAVE NOW?" A voice boomed out from ten rows back.
"Oh, no. Pendragon," groaned Kipling under his breath. The boys scrunched down, squeezed their eyes shut and pretended to be invisible. Decorum resumed.
Kipling and Dickens []
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Kiwi, Lady Baby, Lola and the bridesmaids were organizing in the hallway.

Grandpa Kato was quietly whispering something to the nervous Purrincess Kiwi prior to their walk down the stairs and down the aisle.

Lola, so beautiful in her wedding gown, glowed with quiet happiness as she linked her arm into Brother Pepe Joe's.

"Hey, what are you doing up here?" Kiwi asked. "Aren't you supposed to be down there to marry us?"

"My child, do not fret," Pepe Joe said. "I shall indeed perform your wedding ceremony. However, The Lola here is in need of a father today, and I have the distinct honor of walking this pretty bride down the aisle."

Then, gently floating in from The Rainbow Bridge, Freddie appeared in elegant tux and without his customary yellow baby hat.

"My dear, your arm," he said to Lady Baby, affectionately taking her close for the wedding march. He gave her an other-worldly kiss that warmed her heart even as it made her tingle.

Freddie turned to Pepe Joe. "My son, quiet words of remembrance are in order for Mojo of North Carolina. He arrived at the Bridge yesterday, leaving behind many broken hearts and undried tears."
Freddie of Blessed Memory []
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Incoming, napping behind the woodchipper trailer, suddenly got a blast of water and a loud transmission from the "flower" on his lapel.

"Yo, Incoming! Get your bad black butt in here! The wedding is about to start! Over!"

"Roger, Rox, I copy," he said, wiping his face with his handkerchief and glad that his feral friend had chosen the WATER squirt option, not the MACE dispenser.
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
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Remington Seal paced the groom's dressing room in his nervousness. He wished with all his might that he could play puffball, but all the puffballs had been hidden. "Sorry," Kanoa had told him, "but this is for your own good. Once you see a puffball, you think of nothing else for hours. You'd miss your own wedding." So, Remy paced, noticing that it was exactly 12 steps from one side of the room to the other.

"I'm unwittingly on a 12-step program to rid myself of puffballs," the elegant young meezer sighed. "Oh, but it's worth it. I'm marrying Canada's most beautiful purrincess!"

Kanoa looked over at Seb. Seb was drumming his claws on the window sill, staring off into the distance.

As for Baxter, he sat in the corner, face down in a banana cream pie.

"How the heck did you get that?" Kanoa asked, dismayed.

"Had it delivered," Baxter said in between facefuls of pie. "Yum, yum, yum!"

To his credit, the big blue meeze had tied a tablecloth around his neck and shoulders so not one bit of banana cream would sully his wedding toga.
Kanoa []
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Mia was so nervous!
This was her very first grown-up function....Geez Oh PETE...I hope I don't trip going down the aisle, as she gazed longing at Laz and the other kittens..I wish this was over, so I go and play with my new friends.

Shush...whispers Lady Baby
YOU wanted to be a part of your brother's wedding, so be a good meezette...and suck it up...and Smile, Smile...
Lady Baby looks around anxiously as she strokes her bouquet of red red roses....I hope "everything" goes off without a Roxanne moment....she sighs and gazes up to see Freddie smiling at her..."Don't worry so...it will be a fine ceremony"
Mia Sweet Liberty Rose []
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Sorrel took one last look in the mirror at the butt bow. It was huge. Simply huge. A slender cat, Sorrel had no butt whatsoever, but this bow made her into a certified fat-a$$, no doubt about it.

The shy and sly little tortie quickly sprinkled some of her tortie magick dust on the bow, shrinking it slightly. It still looked huge, but now her butt didn't look so big.

"There, that's better," she sighed. Uncle Freddie winked at her. He had seen what she had done, and he would not give away her secret.
Sorrel []
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This is truely my first Royal event of any sort..my meowmy really keeps a tight rein on me, and I know she is in the background somewhere watching me with her close eye...I'm trying very hard to behave...but all the pretty little girl kittens, esp Laz and Mia...and then the other big meezers that I look up to, it is overwhelming...and knowing that at the reception I get to help Kipling and Dickens decorate the get away vehicles, whatever they might be, excites me to no end. It's going to be difficult to keep my 12 inch tail in line today with all the excitement...keep still tail! Also, it's hard not to let my emotions show re: Mojo..he was my cyber friend..and just a little older than me...life can be too short..but we are going to enjoy all this! in his memory.ps...to Sorrel, you and your bow look beautiful today...
Clyde []
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Duncan opened his eyes at the soft touch of meezer lips on his round cheeks. He turned his golden eyes on the lovely visage of his cross-eyed chocolate beauty: His Mandy. Shyly he reached for her paw and kissed it lightly before giving her the single red rose he had been clutching but not crushing.

The Mandynator took the rose with tears in her eyes. "Nobody's ever given me a rose before. Nobody's ever given me flowers before, ever." She blinked in surprise when Duncan rolled over and off the hammock and thunked solidly to the ground, which gave a small shake.

Duncan stood up on one knee and held out a red velvet box to her.

"Mandy, my darling, You are the one and only for me...forever. On this day of days, with love in the air and singing in our hearts, when the wedding of the century is taking place between royalty, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Mandy stared at Duncan in open-mouthed astonishment, speechless. Duncan stammered on.

"I know this is sudden, but I've wanted to marry you since the first time I saw you. You will always be the one and only for me. I can't imagine my life without you. You have brought such joy and love to my life. I asked Br. Pepe Joe to perform simple ceremony, just for us if you want, before or after the ceremony. I'll leave it up to you. Or we can join in the wedding ceremony itself." Realizing he was rambling, Duncan stopped, took a deep breath and looked into Mandy's startled blue eyes.

"Mandy, will you marry me?" Duncan removed the diamond-encrusted heart with its solid-gold chain and held it out to the little chocolate point.

The Mandynator took the sparkling jewel from Duncan's paw and, with his help, draped it over her neck.
Duncan []
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Bailey quietly checked his tuning on his guitar, waiting for the signal from Brother Pepe Joe....he looked around the Great Hall at the many friends gathered and smiled to himself...what a wonderful thing that was happening here today, he thought...look at all these meezers, meezettes, honoraries...from all around the world....come together to take part in this Great Occasion....he thought about what brought him here, just a tiny kitten many months ago....he thought about his Mom....all those that had come before him...and those yet to come to this Magical Place....all the learning, the sharing, the laughter...and the tears......he knew that there wasn't another place on earth he would rather be right at this moment. There was a heaviness in his heart for those who could not be here...but he could feel their presence....every one of them....here in this Great Hall today.....

Bailey smiled to himself...and waited for the signal for the Procession to begin.....
Bailey []
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Pepe Joe ambled among the crowd in his heavy robes shaking paws and greeting the wedding guests with gusto. He was pleased to see that a few meezers had taken advantage of the bowls of blessed tuna water he had placed at the entrance. Thankfully, Pepe Joe had only tripped twice and hadn’t fallen even once, although kittens had been unable to resist snagging the hem of his robe on a number of occasions.

When he arrived at the geezer table he greeted the revered oldsters heartily as they exchanged somewhat embellished stories about The Great Raccoon Wars. Lady Kairo smiled and wiped back a happy tear as Pepe Joe paused to place a stripey paw on the sleeping head of SamPC to bestow a blessing. Pepe Joe’s huge baby blue eyes began to fill as he realized what a touching moment it would be when they renewed their vows.

Making his way to the dignitaries’ table he bowed lowly before Queen Daphine Dontat and Assistant Leader Pen-Duick. He reached down and shook the paw of Captain Moosey warmly. “My, my, Moosey. What a fine young man you’ve turned out to be!”, Pepe Joe exclaimed. Moosey blushed and Pepe Joe could tell he would rather be playing with Sammy Gene and the kittens than sitting here so still and dignified. Pepe Joe was proud of Moosey and told him so.

As he continued making his way down the table, Pepe Joe stopped before a blond stripey meezette sitting between Preshident Kenmore and Vice-Preshident Mr. Beezers of Zoltron. “Hello, Miss. I don’t believe we’ve met”, Pepe Joe said. “P-pleashed to meet you”, the meezette answered in a strange falsetto, rising unsteadily on her high heel clad paws. Pepe Joe grinned, winked mysteriously and lumbered away.

“Psssstttt.” Pepe Joe couldn’t help but hear someone trying to get his attention from the stage area. He turned to see Sr. Wimples and Paprika motioning for him from behind the curtain. He waddled back as fast as his short stripey legs could carry him. “It’s almost time, Brother Pepe Joe! But you still have awhile to practice, thank goodness” Sr. Wimples hissed pushing the Book of Occasional Services into his paws while Paprika dusted him with some sort of foul smelling concoction.

Pepe Joe took Sr. Wimples aside and whispered something into her ear. Sr. Wimples nodded firmly and took off toward the right side of the stage where the brides and their attendants were gathering.

"Lola, are you here, dear? Where is Lola?", Sr Wimples asked everyone. "Here I am, Sister!", Lola said nervously, "Is anything wrong?"

"No, my dear. I just have a message for you from Br. Pepe Joe. He says to tell you to not worry and that as soon as he's reviewed his notes one more time, he'll be right here at your side to walk you down the aisle. He seems quite honored and excited by it all."

Lola smiled broadly and seemed much relieved. Nikki, Fidra and Jura all gathered around Lola grinning and asking her how she felt about being escorted by a meezer of the cloth!
Pepe Joe []
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Viviane was a bundle of nerves. Earlier Lady Zoe had cleaned her up and then helped her get dressed after Viv had tumbled and rolled in the food with the other kittens. Then, over protests, she had actually stood still for the photographer to take her picture...but she kept thinking of all the fun she was missing with the other kittens. It wasn't until she saw Lady Baby in all her finery that she stopped thinking about playing and became awestruck. Her brother's bride was stunning in her wedding gown and tiara. And that gown! It showed off Lady Baby's locket of white perfectly. Viviane sighed and daydreamed briefly of her own marriage...perhaps to that handsome Purrrince Rudie of Canada?

A door to her left opened and Viviane got a brief glimpse of a roll of toilet paper sitting on a bathroom counter. It was in perfect rolled health, unmangled, and seemed to be calling her name. Nerves forgotten, Viviane took a step toward the bathroom. Suddenly an unearthly paw stroked her head. Startled, she looked up at the etheral form of Freddie from the Rainbow Bridge smiling gently down at her. Viviane smiled shyly at him and stepped back in the wedding processional, that unmangled roll of toilet paper forgotten. Ahead of her, Mia's tail moved back and forth enticingly...
Viviane []
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Kanoa finished cleaning Baxter's face of the last traces of banana cream pie.

"Here, let's get a picture of the groom-to-be," the photographer sighed. "Wait while I put on the wide-angle lens."

CLICK!

"And, Mr. Kanoa, sir, let's get one of you for the album."

CLICK!
Baxter []
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Oh, thank you so much, Pepe Joe. This special day means so much to PC and me, Kairo said softly.
PC dearest, the ceremony has started.
Ceremony? Oh yes...I'm awake now. I just hope we don't have to walk too far, but I'll do my best.
Don't worry sweetie, Pepe Joe is going to let us renew our vows right here. And, because our hosts were so generous with the geezer seating arrangements, we'll be able to see all our furrriends.
PC nodded slowly and shifted slightly, carefully keeping his hat in place and not mussing a single fur on his lovely geezerly wife.
Kairo sniffed a bit and purred softly to her husband, anticipating their impending vows.
Kairo []
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There was a bit of a disturbance just outside the door to the hall as the command crew from DS 7of9 transported down. They were late because a fastener on Crystal’s environment suit wouldn’t fasten until Geordi performed some of his engineering magic on it. Worf was still grumbling about having to watch her and Sisko reminded him that was just in case there was any trouble and fights broke out. This would be Crystal’s first time in public with her suit and he didn’t want it damaged. Their sudden appearance out of thin air startled those nearby, but things settled as soon as they saw who it was.

Roxanne snarled “You’re late, you’d better get in there, things are starting.”

Sisko ordered “Move” and the crew quickly found their seats as the ceremony was starting.
Sisko []
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Lola was aware of Fidra and Jura fussing over her and Fiona putting a last minute gusset or two in the sides of her gown but she was so nervous that none of it really meant anything. She was so afraid that Baxter would change his mind at the last minute.
And she was trying really really hard to remember the words of the wedding vows she had written to say to Baxter. And she was sure that Fiona had laced up that corset thing too tight.
Lola felt like she was in a purple haze.
The Lola []
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Nikki was wishing she'd thought of wearing a corset, too. Gad, this dress was tight. And perhaps she should have worn 3" heels instead of 4" ones. She would be mortified if she fell over while preceding Lola down the aisle.
"You look beeyootiful, Lola," she said, turning to the bride. "Are you nervous?"
Lola rolled her eyes and tweaked the skirt of her gown.
"She can't talk," observed Fiona, "because she can barely breathe in that thing."
"Well she'd better be able to talk by the time she gets to the altar," said Nikki, "otherwise she won't be able to say her wedding vows!"
Lola rolled her eyes again and Nikki, taking pity on her, loosened her corset a little while Fiona wasn't looking.
"OOF!" said Lola. "That's better."
They could hear Bailey tuning his guitar. The noise of the crowd inside the hall was more muted now, as the guests awaited the wedding procession.
It was almost time.
Nikki []
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Wicca was looking about at all the elegant meezers, trying to be very conscious of her posture in her vintage Betsey Johnson frock. "Oh! this is so exciting!" she trilled. Maybe another glass of champagne would help her relax. Between sips began telling the rest of the geezer table about the great indoor mouse-hunting season of 1986. "They just kept coming in through the cupboard, and I kept killing 'em!" Then she thought perhaps this wasn't appropriate conversation for such a fancy occasion. She tucked her tail neatly and sat back to wait.
Wicca []
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Sister Wimples peeked out at the seated meezers, caught a quick wink from Lavender, and noticed the wedding processional gathering in the narthex. She quickly zipped around and out to the gathering meezettes to make sure all was ready. As they nervously nodded that they were "good to go" Wimples ducked in, tapped Bailey on the shoulder, gave the musical entourage a nod, and smiled as they started on their prelude music. She saw Fr. Pepe Joe peek out and waved at him to quickly join the processional. Then she positioned herself up beside the altar with Pepe Joe's book and sheets of wedding vows, ready to hand them to him once he arrived up front. She smiled at the nervous grooms as they shifted back and forth on multicolored pawickies and cleared their throats, whispering their practiced vows to themselves one last time. Then she settled down and listed to the beautiful music, awaiting the song that would signal the flowergirls and bridesmaids to begin their walks down the aisle. All eyes turned expectantly toward the door.
Sister Wimples []
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The throng was kept entertained by the soloist Hector and Bailey on guitar, then by an impromptu ballad from Mozart, accompanied by Toula. Paprika had performed a very elaborate spiritual reading, the details of which had the younger kittens quaking in their pussnboots. Panda had dug deep into his collection desperately trying to find appropriate “stall ‘em” music that wasn’t too trip-hoppy, and had fortunately brought some recordings by HRH Kiwi’s Royal whale orchestra. The reason for the delay was whispered from pew to pew; the Meowthers of the Bride Kiwi and Groom Remington had both lapsed into migraineous states over the cumulative stress, and had to be treated in the nurses’ station, but were now seated happily albeit a bit shell-shocked at the front with the rest of family and furriends. As the last strains of “Pomp and Circumstance” rose to the ceiling, the guests turned an ear expectantly to Panda’s booth. He did not disappoint them this time; Wimples had given him the thumbs up, and everyone murmured happily when Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” began at last, accompanied by Bailey and the others.

Pepe Joe gave the good to go, and Grampa, taking Purrincess Kiwi by the arm, signaled the others to fall in line with them. The bridesmaids led the way, each looking more beautiful than they had ever looked. The sight of them was dazzling and supreme.

The flower girls giggled darted ahead of them, sprinkling rose petals and catnip leaves in their path from baskets woven from pussy willow stems. Ringbearers Purrince Rudolph and Taylor purroudly strutted up the aisle with rings clinking on their tails. Rudie was especially grateful that Beauty had come to get him when it was time, avoiding a very close call!
Grandpa Kato []
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"oh, westew, isn't dis womantic? fwee bwides, fwee gwooms, one beeeg wedding...sigh..."
lily snuggled closer to her dapper escort, and deeper into the blankie.
"i hopes tomo finishes his wesson in time! he wiww hab such a gud time wif aww de uddew kiddens."
"is dewe time fow a quick widduw nap befowe da cewemonie?"
***yawn***
Lily []
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i hope i'm not late for this wedding-thing...lily said it's gonna be a great party...i wish i could run just a little bit faster...whew! there's the hall, just in time, too...
hey lily, wake up! it's starting!
Tomo []
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Even though he knew everyone was getting ants in their proverbial pants, Pepe Joe had waited for the very last minute to begin the ceremony. Kiwi and Remington Seal’s meowmys had done got the migraineous vapors and his very own daddy (and designated wedding chaperone) was late due to the sudden arrival of 3 foster cats back in Florida-land.

After making sure Sr. Wimples had all the rituals and notes in order, Pepe Joe flew to the waiting line of brides and attendants to escort Miss Lola. Unfortunately, he tripped on his vestment and landed face down in the lap of Kenmore’s mysterious date causing The Duchess Of Yowl to nearly choke on her shicken-on-a-shtick. It took the combined efforts of Sir Kelso, Kuniyoshi, and Wide Body Bob to set Pepe Joe back upright.

Trying his priestly best to appear composed, Pepe Joe made his way to Miss Lola. “Miss Lola? May I have the honor of escorting you down the aisle?” Pepe Joe said where all could hear. Lola nodded sweetly and Pepe Joe extended his arm. They joined the procession and walked slowly and solemnly down the aisle. Everyone rose and turned to look upon the awesome sight. Meezettes dabbed blue eyes with lace hankies and everyone watched in awe as the beautiful ensemble passed and music filled the grand hall. The grooms and their entourage stood straight and tall waiting patiently. Soon they caught the first glimpse of their brides and perceptively leaned forward as if to hurry the moment.

The bridesmaids, flower girls and ring bearers arrived at the steps to the alter and then made their way to the left to take their places at the front of the stage.

Finally, it was time for the beautiful and exquisite brides to arrive. Remington Seal stepped forward to greet Purrincess Kiwi as she was the first to approach. Grampa Kato kissed her gently on the cheek, nodded sagely to Remington and slowly placed Kiwi’s paw in Remington’s waiting paw. Then Baxter stepped forward hesitantly. Pepe Joe put a stripey arm around Baxter. He then took Lola’s arm and hooked it around Baxter’s. Licking what tasted like banana cream pie off his paw, Pepe Joe leaned close to Lola and whispered, “Don’t let go of him, my dear. I think he may be a bit nervous.” Sir Sebastian eagerly came to the fore as Lady Baby and Freddie of Blessed Memory made their way to the front. Sebastian nodded respectfully to Freddie as he and Baby joined arms.

Pepe Joe hurried up the stairs to the alter and positioned himself behind the podium. He nodded to Sr. Wimples seated at the rear of the stage whereupon she rose slowly and delivered Pepe Joe’s notes. Somewhat out of breath and perspiring a bit under all the heavy robes, Pepe Joe lifted his paws and motioned for the wedding party and all the guests to be seated. It was just then a string decided to break on Bailey’s guitar that made such an unworldly sound that Hector hit a note never before known to meezerkind. Stifled giggles could be heard throughout the hall. As the grand assemblage quieted, Brother Pepe Joe cleared his throat and prepared to begin…
Pepe Joe []
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Suddenly the tiny chocolate point felt a whole lot less like The Mandynator and a lot more like Amanda Marie. This of course was her given name and Duncan was the only one that she allowed to call her “Mandy.” She couldn’t quite believe the beautiful diamond heart that sparkled against the dull khaki of her uniform.

How was it possible that such a handsome and romantic guy was in love with HER? Mandy felt her ears get warm as she looked up into Duncan’s kind gold eyes. She knew immediately that this was the cat she wanted to spend eternity with.

“Yes, Duncan. Yes”, Mandy stammered. She stood on her tippy toes, her new brown spit polished boots creaking, and wrapped her arms around him. Her tiny arms barely reached around Duncan’s shoulders and as Duncan hugged her back, they both nearly toppled over in a heap of snow and chocolate.

“But I have to get back to the ceremony quickly, Duncan!” Mandy exclaimed. Roxanne, Incoming, Jake and DSof9 are depending on me!”

Duncan understood immediately, grabbed Mandy’s hand and led her back quickly to the castle.
The Mandynator []
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Sebastian stood at the alter, slightly behind Remington Seal and Baxter. Seb was a little guy and was having a hard time seeing over and around the big blue point in the roman outfit. Pendragon, on Sebastian's left as his best cat, provided a running commentary to the handsome groom. Soon Sebastian could see the flower girls and bridesmaids come into view. He grinned at Purrince Rudie who was holding his ring-loaded tail high in the air. Viviane smiled nervously at her brothers as she came down the aisle in her blue gown then went to stand beside Lady Zoe, Lady Baby's maid of honor.

Sebastian heard Pendragon's sharp intake of air. "What? What?" Seb turned to him in alarm. "Nothing," Pen whispered back. "It's just...the brides...they are gorgeous!" Sebastian felt his stomach flip-flop with nerves as the first bride came into view. Kiwi was stunning. And The Lola! Wow! Then, finally, his Lady Baby. Sebastian wasn't sure he could move. She was beautiful in her white satin dress and red trim, black fur sleek and slicked back, a beautiful tiara on her head. Pen gave Seb a nudge in the back to get him out of his stupor. Sebastian figured he looked stupid because he was unable to stop smiling. Lady Baby, to her credit, looked calm, which helped calm Sir Sebastian's nerves. Seb took Lady Baby's paw from Freddie; his grin grew even broader at the look of love in Lady Baby's eyes. Their arms hooked together, holding tightly to each other's paws, they faced Pepe Joe.

Meezers and Meezettes looked upon the handsome couples with sighs and tears. A "twang" from a guitar, an unexpected high note, followed by a smattering of giggles and the rustling of taffeta and cloth as cats shifted on their beds and then finally...silence.

Pepe Joe opened his mouth to speak when the door to the chapel flew open. Pen let out a low warning growl and puffed up his already fluffy tail. The gathered cats all turned at once to see who or what had caused the ruckus.

Duncan and The Mandynator stood in the open doorway. Duncan's big belly was heaving from exertion but he looked resolved. The Mandynator looked embarrassed but clung tightly to Duncan's paw. Behind them Roxanne was rolling her eyes and playing with the switch on her woodchipper. The crowd openly goggled at them. What in the world??
Sebastian []
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My dearly beloved meezers and meezettes, beans and d*wgies, honorary meezers and all other species that were able to make it past Roxanne and Incoming… we have gathered here today for a momentous and historic occasion. On this night, four blessed couples have come before us to declare their love and dedication to one another. I am purrsonally honored and humbled to be a part of this rare and extraordinary event. Before we begin the ceremony, I would like to take a moment to recognize some of those among us and those who remain with us only in spirit.

As you know, Veterans’ Day has recently passed and I think it is worthy to acknowledge those in our audience today that have served our universe bravely and with no regard to their own safety. Please put your paws together to show your appreciation for their sacrifices. First, I have the honor to recognize veterans from The Great Raccoon Wars. Will Grampa Kato, Sheba and all the Raccoon War veterans please stand? * resounding applause * Also, if Lady Wicca will stand we shall honor her mouse hunting skills. Next, I’d like to recognize Kuniyoshi, Timid Samurai for his contributions to peace, tranquility and equality worldwide. Kuni, please stand if you will. And finally, will all the meezers, meezettes and PTBs please stand who have served SICC so bravely in the various Meezer Epics that have kept our universe safe from dragons, spideys, Trojan horsies, fings wif tentacows, naval blockades and mysterious orange invaders.

The crowd rose to their feet cheering and applauding wildly. Even the refined Lady Fidra strategically placed her front toes in her mouth to issue a deafening whistle. The veterans appeared a bit embarrassed yet pleased and proud. It was quite some time before the ovation quieted but it eventually did and everyone returned to their seats.

Pepe Joe then paused and slowly bowed his head. It was evident to the assemblage that something serious was about to be said. A hush fell upon the hall and the grooms held their brides’ paws a little tighter.

“My friends”, Pepe Joe began solemnly. “At such a joyous occasion as this, it would be remiss for us to forget those who could not be with us this evening. Some of them have gone to the Bridge before us and some we know not where they may be. But I can assure you… they all still share in both our joys and our sorrows and are with us always. We have but to think upon them and they are present in our hearts. Please think upon these, our forever friends, as I read their names.” Pepe Joe opened a beautifully silk bound book and began to read very slowly and reverently…

“Mojo The Floofy… Chocolatina (wherever she may be)… Loganberry… Biz… Jasmine… Kodora… Adora-Belle… Wedge…”

Pepe Joe paused pretending to clear his throat, and wiped a big blue eye with the sleeve of his robe. He continued…

“Danielle… Sessy (wherever she may be)… Laylah… BrandyBear… COG… Jasper… Zeke… Capitan Dread Pirate Hawke… Jarod (wherever he may be)…”

“My dear friends, I know I have not read the names of all those who have left our earthly realm and who we miss so very deeply. You each have a rose that was placed in your seat when you arrived. If you are so inclined, please come forward and place a rose on the alter in memory of one who has touched your life and cannot be with us here tonight.”

Many began to come forward to make their way to the front, each carrying a rose as if it were a fragile treasure. They waited their turn to place their rose on the alter and returned slowly to their seats.

Pepe Joe then spoke with such gusto and enthusiasm that it caused the entire congregation to sit up straight and listen. “My friends! This is not an evening to be sad! This is an evening to rejoice! We must remember that those who have left us are not, nor can they ever be gone from our hearts! We must celebrate their memory and their legacy! How fortunate each and every one of us was and is to have a family that loves us! Let us remember and be thankful!”

Pepe Joe suddenly seemed so exuberant and cheerful that no one could manage to remain sad. Smiles returned to faces, murmuring among the crowd renewed and the faces of the happy couples beamed once again with joy and anticipation…
Pepe Joe []
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Pepe Joe turned to Remington Seal and Purrincess Kiwi.

"My children, step forward."

The bridal pair stepped forward and knelt down on the white lace and velvet cushions. Kiwi turned to hand her bouquet to Miss Sushi.

"Join paws."

The couple nervously joined paws.

"Do you, Remington Frederick Seal, take this meezette, HRH Purrincess Kiwi du Canada, to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better, for worse, richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live and that means all nine lives?"

Baxter started to blubber with pure emotion.

"I do," the elegant sealpoint said.

"And do you, Purrincess Kiwi du Canada, take Remington Seal as your wedded meezer husband, for better, for worse, richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live and that means all nine lives?"

"I do," Kiwi said.

Sister Wimple and Paprika sprinkled fairy dust on the couple. Pepe Joe put his own striped paw down on top of Kiwi and Remington's joined paws. In the background, Baxter continued to blubber.

"Remington, please recite the vows you have written to Kiwi."

"I, Remington Frederick Seal, promise to love you, cherish you, keep you in puffballs and tuna, and take care of you all the days we are together."

At this point, Baxter broke out into unrestrained sobs that made him sound like a whale with asthma.

Pepe Joe turned to Kiwi.

"Now Purrincess Kiwi will recite the vows she has written. We will give Baxter a minute to compose himself."
Remington Seal []
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"Dear me," the huge blue meeze in the toga wept, "I said I wasn't gonna cry, and here I am, crying my eyes out!"

Random handed Baxter a tissue.

**HONK!** **Whistle!** **HONK!** **Sniffle, sniffle!** **HONK!**

At that moment, thousands of female Canada geese, hearing Baxter's honks and fancying them to be the mating call of a huge hunk of a gander, flocked aloft and flew toward the Magic Meezer Castle where the wedding was being held.
Baxter []
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Meanwhile in the d*ghouse, the ongoing game of poker was in full tilt.
“Do you hear THAT?” Selkie barked.

Gorjuss heard the geese and knew what she had to do. She summoned all her well-bred herding instinct and bounded out the door, pink bunny ears on full alert. She artfully gathered the geese into a flock, and expertly guided them down to the pond away from the venue. An old gander gave her some flak, but she quickly stopped that with a gentle nip to the tail feathers!
Gorjuss []
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The Royal geese having been subdued, Kiwi turned to face Remington Seal, her whiskers quivering with excitement.

“I, Kiwi, take thee, Remington, to be mine husband, to love, honour and cherish from this day forward. I purromise to be loving and faithful, and always support you in your athletic endeavours...” Kiwi breathed deeply and paused, trying to regain her regal composure.

Pepe Joe prompted her gently, “All that I am...”

“All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you. My puffballs are your puffballs. Whatever the future holds, I will love you and care for you always. May we grow old and geezerly together as a team, whether in times of Fancy Feast or cheap kibble. I love you, Remykins!” she squeaked, barely able to go on, she felt such joy.

Grampa Kato swelled with pride, and stole a glance at Wicca, who grinned and waved her pideyweb lace hankie.

Remington purred, and looked at his bride’s heaving chest. His pupils dilated when he noticed something silver and distinctly spawkawwbawwesque glittering in her décolletage!
Purrincess Kiwi []
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Do I give em their rings nowmeow?” screeched Rudie impatiently, almost knocking over the vase filled with loving remembrance roses. Viviane stifled a giggle, and SuShi gasped and rolled her eyes in mock horror.

No, we have other vows to witness,” explained Paprika, and put a calming paw on the little one’s shoulder.
Purrince Rudolph []
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HEY WOTS DAT NOISE - CAINT YOU LET A POOR CAT GET A LITTLE SLEEP???!!!
INCOMING roused himself from a deep sleep behind the woodchipper trailer just in time to see the flock of geese headed straight toward him, followed by an assortment of yowling dogs. Doing his best helicopter imitation, he lept to the top of the trailer just before the geese reached him, and fluffed his ebony fur to its fullest. SOMEBODYS GONNA PAY FOR DIS!

Just then he noticed that the ceremonies were well under way, and a certain stripey fluffenator was edging dangerously close to the divine Roxanne.
Incoming []
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After exchanging a few soft whispers, the geezerly couple listened intently to Pepe Joe, fully appreciating his moving tribute to all veterans and those furriends who are not at today's assembly. They gave their little flower girl, Lily, two pink roses to carry to the tribute at the alter on their behalf. PC wiped a small tear from Kairo's eye, while thinking how fortunate they were to share this moment. Purring lightly, Kairo leaned into PC, also grateful this special day had arrived and held much promise for all in attendance.
Kairo []
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Remington stared at Kiwi's décolletage. Yes, no doubt about it. A silver and white sparkly puffball nested there neatly.

"Puffball....Want to play with the puffball..." Remy whispered, his eyes glazing over.

Before Remington could lunge forward into Kiwi's décolletage, Kanoa gently but firmly restrained him by the tuxedo tails.

"Not here, and not now!" the Tidewater Tripod hissed into Remington's enormous fruitbat ears.

The hiss had the desired effect. Remington Seal was brought back into reality. He continued to purr at his bride, but now he was staring at her face and not at the puffball in her cleavage.
Remington Seal []
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Heh, heh, heh...PC chuckled to himself. I may be old, but I can guess what caused young Remy to pause. Good thing Kanoa caught him.

PC! A quick nudge from his wife brought the wandering geeze back to the present.

Now my dear, I know my eyes aren't as sharp as they once were, but I saw a distinct silver shimmer in...uh...down...oh my...in Kiwi's décolletage. I was enjoying a momentary reflection of my own youth and considering how fine that little puffball might have looked on you.

Oh PC...you say the sweetest things, Kairo purred. She gave him a quick ear kiss and resumed watching the unfolding ceremony.

Whew...PC thought to himself. I surely didn't live this long without learning a thing or two about women. Still, no matter the age, none could possibly outshine my own Kairo. He stole a quick glance at his wife and returned to observing the festivities.
Sam PC []
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Hut carefully carried his rose to the alter, the rest of the Full House Kits escorting him (also with their roses), and the Duchess supporting him.

As Hut lay his rose down, he whispered, "Lily, I know you're happy at the rainbow bridge, but we all still miss you down here."

The rest of the Full House Kits laid their roses down as a tribute to Lily the Lovely, who was just too fragile to stay on earth with her brother Hut and the rest of the FHK.

The Duchess took Hut's paw and led him, along with the others, back to their seats. With a quick ear kiss and face rub, the Duchess settled Hut and turned to comfort the other kits.

"Come now, this is a royal wedding and time for cheer, not sadness. Lily the Lovely and all the rest of the departed and misplaced are here with us in spirit. Never forget that. As long as they are remembered with love in your hearts, you will never lose them."
Hut the Magnificat []
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Roxanne's eyes scanned the Great Hall for trouble. There wasn't any, only happy meezers partaking in a royal wedding.

Bored with Remy and Kiwi's vows that were taking seemingly forever, Roxanne cast another eye around the room. She quietly whispered into her lapel flower.

"Yo, Pen! Do you copy?"

"Roger, Rox! Over!"

"Check out that meezer wearing the slutty dress, the one in the third row seated next to Kenmore. Over."

"That blond wig sucks! Over!"

"Check out the cheap stiletto heels! Over!"

"That's one butt-ugly outfit on one butt-ugly girl, Rox. Over!"

"Pen, that ain't no girl. Over."

"Crap, a cross-dresser! Over."

"It could be Cat Springer. He'll do anything to infiltrate this wedding! Over!"

"Call Incoming for back-up, Rox. I'm going to get closer. Over and out."

Roxanne quietly summoned Incoming by a pre-arranged paw signal. He was standing near the door of the Great Hall, covering the meezer congregation from behind.

While Purrincess Kiwi's seal-chocolatey face glowed with happiness and beauty as she told Remy her vows, Pendragon nonchalantly took a place right next to the blond-wigged meezer in the slutty outfit.

"YO, babe!" he purred, putting his paw on the back of the mystery meezer's neck. "Let's ditch this crappy wedding and go make out in the back of my humvee," he whispered, delicately sinking a stiletto claw into the back of the meezer's blond wig.

"Huh? Wuh?"

"Sh! Mustn't disturb the wedding!" Pen hissed quietly. "Well, babe, time's a-wasting. How about a little action?"

"Uh, excushe me, but I'm not your type," the blond meezer slut said helplessly, looking at Kenmore. "I'm with him."

"Likely story. C'mon!"

"No!" the blond-wigged meezerette said aloud. Meezers turned around and sniggered.

"OK, I'll leave you alone, honeycakes," Pen purred. "Oh, by the way, your wig is on crooked." And with that, Pen flicked his claw and flipped the wig right off his victim's head.

"I can exshplain..." Marley stammered.

"You can, after the ceremony," Incoming said, stepping up next to Pen to escort the cross-dressing meezer guest to the rear of the Great Hall. "In the meantime, bozo, you're gonna put on a suit and tie. This here is a classy operation. We don't want no cross-dressers here to taint this event. Now, shall we go?"

Baxter
As Baxter stood near the altar, waiting for his turn to be married to Lola and listening to Remy and Kiwi taking their vows, he suddenly felt uncomfortable and started shuffling from paw to paw.

"I thought you used the litterbox before we left the vestry," Random whispered.

"It's not that!" the big blue meeze in the toga whispered back.

So, what was troubling Baxter? Was it that he had forgotten his vows? Was it the speech he would be giving in the purest Pig Latin during the reception? (After all, he was wearing a toga and genuine Roman sandals.) Did his paws hurt from the unaccustomed footwear? Did he have to use the litterbox?

Not exactly.

Before marching out to meet his bride, Baxter had eaten five banana cream pies in the space of 20 minutes.

"My toga actually is starting to feel pretty tight," Baxter moaned to himself.

Just as Purrincess Kiwi finished uttering the last word of her vows to her beloved fruitbat Remykins, Baxter let out a humongous burp.

"Oh! Excuse me!" he said, blushing. Everyone turned and shook their heads in amusement.

Pepe Joe picked up his prayer book and got ready to pronounce Remy and Kiwi husband and wife. Before he could say a word, Baxter belched again. Even the meezers in the very back of the Great Hall were sniggering now.

"Dear me!" The Lola said, arching her pretty eyebrows.

"Nerves!" Baxter shrugged. Random quietly handed the big blue meeze some Gas-X. Baxter popped the Gas-X in his mouth and hoped it would do the trick.
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
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Hey, Bax, wanna show me how to do a humongous burp jes' like you did? *snigger* Oops. Lola be givin' me "the look" and a-swishin' her tail under that dresss o'hers. I plumb fergot this yere's a weddin', and I'm sposed to be on my bes' behavior.
Rama the Red []
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Oh my, PC. There's so much going on, Kairo whispered. Look...over there...Pen just busted somebody badly disguised as a blond meezette. It looks like, no...it is...Marley. Will that guy ever learn? Still, he's quite a sight in those heels he's trying to prance around in. Rox and her security crew sure have their paws full monitoring this crowd. Still...it is kind of funny.
A soft snore broke Kairo's whispering...What? Busted? Who? PC lifted his head and gave the crowd a sleepy-eyed gaze.
That's ok, sweetie. I was just noticing everything going on besides the wedding ceremonies. These youngsters sure can entertain, and with so little effort. Kairo directed PC's attention to the sleezy blond Pen was escorting out the back door.
What self-respecting meeze would consider those heels? And a wig? Oh...it's really Marley...well, that explains everything. PC nudged Kairo's sealy ears and tucked his head into her warm fur for another little snooze.
Kairo gave her beloved a quick kiss on his head and returned her attention to the back door. You could never tell what might happen next.
Kairo []
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INCOMING sidled closer to the divine ROXANNE, not-so-gently nudging PENDRAGON out of the way.

Wots we gonna do wif dis varmint, huh? Da woodchipper is too good for him, and besides, its still clogged wif dat Springers toupe.

Just then, INCOMING spied a certain rather zaftig (that's a nice word for plump) meezette looking their way. Hey, wots about we truss him up & deliver him over dere - I finks I knows a southern lady wot would be happy to have him! An she'd work him over better dan any woodchipper! [an EVIL GRIN ICON popped up in a cartoon balloon over INCOMINGS head]
Incoming []
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Pepe Joe wasn’t easily distracted, but what with Baxter’s blubbering, the honking of the million or so geese, then Baxter’s… uh… improprieties, the unwigging of Marley was about all he could stand. Pepe Joe doubled over in a deep, uncontrolled belly laugh right in front of everybody! A fast and hard smack on head wif pawickie from Sr. Wimples sobered Pepe Joe up quickly. “Ouch! That hurt, Wimples!” Pepe Joe exclaimed! “Wudja do that for anyway?” Sr. Wimples looked hard at Pepe Joe, then at the waiting brides and grooms, then back at Pepe Joe. “Methinks you’re forgetting where you are, Brother!” Sr Wimples hissed lowly. “Oops”, Pepe Joe whispered. Gathering his composure and standing as tall as his short stripey legs would allow, Pepe Joe turned back to face the waiting wedding parties.

They had all solemnly said their vows and now stood fidgeting nervously. Sebastian was shifting his weight from one paw to the other. Remy was using every ounce of his will to keep from staring at Kiwi’s “sparkly puffballs”. Baxter had a paw plastered to his mouth looking as if his eyes were about to pop out while Miss Lola was getting a crick in her neck craning around to stare at her new tail ring. Looking back to eye the horse durvies tables, some of the bridesmaids had even taken to munching on their bouquets while Sorrel was trying to cover her behind with her paw, still obviously very worried about the butt bow.

Pepe Joe cleared his throat and began earnestly. “My dearest furriends, this is a special day indeed. For upon this day, all of SICC has gathered together as one to recognize and rejoice in meezer love. For all the love that exists in the world, there is nothing quite like meezer love. It is resplendent in its simplicity, global in its reach, and humbling in its power.”

“Sir Remington Frederick Seal and HRH Purrincess Kiwi du Canada, will you please step forward? Baxter and Lola, come forward please. HRH Sir Sebastian and Lady Baby, come forward a bit on the right here. Thank you. SamPC and Lady Kairo, please remain where you are.” Paprika circled the pairs in a primitive dance, shaking the turtle shell rattle and dusting them with some sort of pink colored powder.

“My dear meezers and meezettes, honorary meezers, purrecious d*wgies, and distinguished beans, with the authority granted to me by Lord Zeke, Capitan Hawke, Assistant Leader Pen-Duick and Preshident Kenmore of Zoltron, it is my honor and privilege to pronounce these fine couples… husband and wife. Grooms, you may kiss the brides!”

The crowd rose quickly to their hind paws and began cheering wildly, pausing occasionally to wipe an errant tear. Even Roxanne, Incoming and Pendragon seemed moved as they held a bedraggled Marley by an ear, paw and whisker, respectively.

The happy couples embraced, both joyful and relieved that the ceremony was finally completed. PC and Kairo snuggled closer on their spotty leopard throw. Remington and Kiwi embraced happily. Lola flung her arms tightly around Baxter eliciting yet another banana cream laced belch from the portly meezer. Sebastian hugged Baby sweetly. PC and Kairo exchanged ear licks.

“Now it’s time to pawty!” Pepe Joe exclaimed. Bailey struck up a song on his guitar as Panda began pawing frantically through his CDs. Mr. Meezleton moved in to help begin organizing the reception music. Captain Sisko grabbed an astounded Minooka away from Maxie and whisked her out onto the dance floor.

It was then that the great doors flung open. The pint-sized Mandynator had Duncan by the paw and, although he outweighed her three-fold, was managing to drag him toward the altar. “Hold on just a cotton pickin’ minute, Pepe Joe! We wanna get hitched too!” screamed The Mandynator in a high-pitched voice that made many of the meezers in her vicinity hold their ears with their paws and even shattered one of the bulbs in the chandeliers…
Pepe Joe []
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Nikki polished off the last of the flowers in her bouquet and kicked off her high heels. Lawdy, that felt good. This dressing up was all very well, but it wasn't very comfortable. She noticed Sir Lester and Lily were taking another nap. But wait! The Mandynator and Duncan were standing before Pepe Joe (and was Duncan actually sweating?) so she trotted over to wake up Sir Lester and Lily.
Nikki []
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"Wakey, wakey!" cried Nikki, poking Sir Lester sharply in the ribs, "the ceremony isn't over yet, there's another couple about to get married!" Sir Lester sprang into the air. "Married? Married? Don't mind if I do!" he said, and fumbled in his weskit pocket for the small box he'd hidden there. "Why, Westew, whatewew awe you doing?" said Lily. Lester knelt in front of Lily, and popped the box open. Lily's eyes got really, really big, for inside was the most humongous sapphire ring she'd ever seen. "Lily, dearetht, my one true love, will you be my Bridge Wife? Oh, thay you'll be mine, my only thweetheart!" And he gently placed the ring on Lily's tail.

Nikki was beside herself with excitement. This was so romantic! Would the Lady Lily say yes?
Sir Lester []
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PC thought he was dreaming..... No he distinctly heard it. Somewhere in the distance a loud thunderous applause and a sweet little girl with a sapphire round her tail held high for all to see. Everyone seemed so happy there. No one had pain on their faceikies. He caught a glimpse of Metu. Who is that she has her paws around, he wondered. There were so many of the faces he recognized from the SICC there. He knew they were special cats who had known great love on earth. He was glad to see all the ferals happily sharing great contentment as well. One thing was missing though..... he couldn't see any woodchippers! He wondered where the ferals parked them. Just then he felt a nudge and something tugging him back. Oh, Kairo, he purred. You won't believe what I just saw. But before he could tell her, he was back asleep with his head over hers.
Sam PC []
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PC...wherever were you, sweetie? I guess you'll have to tell me later, when you wake up. It must have been a beautiful place though, you look so happy and relaxed. Kairo sighed, while she was truly glad to have shared this special day with so many wonderful meezers, she hoped for more time with her beloved PC. Wiping away a small tear, she resolved to make the most of their time together. She snuggled under PC, putting her small paw across his for a post-ceremony nap.
Kairo []
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The Mandynator couldn’t quite believe she was actually doing this. She knew her Daddy was going to be furious. There was no doubt about that. But she loved Duncan with all her heart. I mean who could resist a giant Hostess Snowball in a sombrero? She and Duncan rushed up to the front of the hall. “Pepe Joe! Where are you?” Duncan squeaked nervously. Pepe Joe hopped out from behind the stage where he was attempting to change into his dancing shoes. His robe was in disarray and his sash was crooked having been put back on in a rush.

“I’m here, my children. I’m ready.”

The Mandynator pawsed to smooth out her smart khaki uniform and to finger the diamond heart necklace lovingly. Just then she noticed a glow to her and Duncan’s right. She poked Duncan sharply with an elbow and whispered, “Look, Duncan! Look there!” Duncan looked over and there standing in a circle of light were none other than the delicate Lily The Lovely and the noble Sir Lester. The ethereal couple stood quietly facing Br. Pepe Joe, holding paws and looking so peaceful and happy. The Mandynator reached in her pocket and withdrew a hankie to dab at a tear in Duncan’s eye. They both felt so honored to be in their company.

The hall grew quiet on its own accord as the two couples exchanged vows. Hector then broke into a quiet and reverent rendition of Ave Meezeria after which Br. Pepe Joe made the pronouncement. Lily’s magnificent sapphire tail ring began glowing and the light bounced off the dance balls hung throughout the hall as she and Sir Lester embraced. Duncan lifted The Mandynator off her tiny chockie paws and twirled her around laughing joyfully.

A huge smile broke out on PC’s geezerly lips as Miss Kairo held him close. All of SICC rose and applauded as the two disparate and unlikely couples made their way back down the aisle.

Waiting on the dance floor, Remy and Kiwi embraced. Baxter hugged Lola so tight a button burst on her dress. Sebastian swept Lady Baby up in his arms and gave her a lick on the lips. All was right in SICC at that very moment… past, present and future had come together and it was good…
The Mandynator []
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"Oh, Lily...my Forever Bride.."
"Oh, Westew, my Forever Husband..."
And Lester gave Lily a resounding smackeroo right on the lips.

Above them, a rainbow appeared, softly glowing, and all present heard a faint, musical sound, as if all at the Bridge were purring and singing in unison.

"Oh, Happy Day!" cried Nikki, clasping her two front paws together. She could no longer restrain herself, and put her paws around the happy couple. (This was no mean feat, considering Sir Lester's girth and the fact that Nikk arguably had the shortest legs of all the meezers at the wedding.)
Sir Lester []
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Rama threw his cowboy hat in the air with a mighty whoop-de-doo, grabbed Bailey's guitar and began to sing.

When the moon hits your eye like banana cream pie (here Baxter rolled his eyes and belched yet again)
That's amore,
When the world seems to flip like you've had too much nip,
That's amore...
Rama the Red []
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Samantha had been sitting with Timster watching the wedding with wide eyes. She hadn't been to many big 'doings' having spent most of her time in her garden. It had never occurred to her to have a wedding or she would have definitely found a way to get Julio in front of Pepe Joe before Julio left for the bridge.

A few things troubled her however so she jumped down from the fleece pad that she and Timster had perched on top of a side table and went to find her adopted siblings.

First she touched noses with Baxter welcoming him to the family then hissed in Lola's ear 'You better change into your plush size 'going away' dress before you eat anymore of that tuna cassorole. Those gussets weren't made for that kind of pressure!"

Lola hissed back and gave Samantha an evil stare but hustled away to change.

Next Samantha found Random who was leaning against the wall with a glass of catnip wine in his paw.

"Two things for you young man! Why are you alone at a wedding? Why aren't you dancing with one of the pretty meezettes?"

Random was so surprised at the question that instead of his usual smooth answers he blurted out the truth "I still miss Chocolatina. I was so upset when she was lost that I didn't pay enough attention to Beauty and Ioduin and now I have lost them too."

"Well if your going to mope about try stay out of sight and not ruin the party. And please tell Fiona that you messed up the transportation not Mickey. I'm too old to put up with both of you pi**ing and moaning."

Samantha turned and ambled around the edge of the dance floor finally finding Fiona chatting with Paprika and Nikki.

Samantha tapped Fiona briskly almost knocking her down.

"What?!" yelped Fiona.

Samantha glared and crossed her front paws "You go over to that handsome Mickey right this minute and apologize for being so bad tempered. Brave and handsome knights are not easy to find! And find Random someone to dance with!"
Dame Samantha []
*****************************
Clyde raced through the hall dragging a bag of crinkle balls, dodging dancing wedding guests. "Hey, Kipling? Dickens? I'm here, so can we start fixing up the getaway coach now? Can we? Can we?"

Dickens grinned at the little guy's enthusiasm. "Sure, let's!" He picked up his tool box and a bag of streamers and colorful pennants; Kipling grabbed the sparkle balls. The young meezers headed outside to transform the carriers into coaches fit for royalty. They were joined by a few other youngsters eager to pitch in.

Sticky tape, staples and hot glue came out of the tool box, and a crew of busy young meezers busily covered the vehicles with tinsel and sparkly decorations. It looked glorious! So did the furkids who had bits and pieces of sparkles stuck to various parts of themselves.

Baxter, now that his case of "the bloats" was much relieved, headed for the hall to cut a rug with one of the glamorous meezettes. Brushing by the adorned coaches, his tail stuck on a blob of hot glue to which Kipling was about to attach one more bit of glitter. "Hey," Baxter gasped, "You kids--wanna give me a paw, here?"

A cluster of adolescent cats gathered around to inspect the situation. They gently tugged at Baxter's tail, but it was firmly attached to the coach. "You pull, Baxter," Clyde suggested. "Maybe you can get loose."

Baxter pulled. He pulled harder. He pulled harder, still, and panic began to creep into his voice. "Ow wow. This isn't working. Get a scissor. Get a razor. Get..."

"A WOODCHIPPER!" shouted all the meezers. "Where's Roxanne?"
Kipling and Dickens []
*****************************
Roxanne marched over and sternly looked at Clyde, Dickens and Kipling.

"What have you three rug rats done?" she demanded, eyeing poor Baxter's stuck tail. "And, you," she said, turning to Baxter, "should have kept your tail inside your toga."

Roxanne pondered the situation for a minute.

"Are you going to woodchip his tail off?" the kittens asked brightly.

"No," she growled. She looked at each of them again, and suddenly they cast their eyes down to the ground. They were now scared.

Roxanne aimed the flower on her leather jacket and squirted some sort of liquid from it. Within a second, Baxter's tail disengaged from the gooey mess it was stuck in.

"Go wash up before your wife yells at you," Roxanne counseled Baxter. "And as for you three miscreants," she said, turning to the frightened kittens, "if you three creeps can stay out of trouble for the rest of this wedding, I'll give each of you a set of miniature brass knuckles."

Roxanne then walked away, squelching a laugh at the high-spirited kittens.
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
*****************************
Clyde started to sniffle. "Don't cry, Clyde," soothed Kipling. "Baxter isn't stuck anymore and we've finished making the royal coaches beautiful. Roxanne saved the day! Blow your nose and let's go get some munchies."

The youngsters scampered into the hall to seriously sample the array of delicious goodies, taking one last backward glance at their handiwork.
Kipling and Dickens []
*****************************
Roxanne looked back at the handsomely decorated royal coaches and woodchippers and promptly burst into laughter.

"Yo, what's so funny?" Incoming asked, biting the head off a herring he held in his paw.

"Look!" the feral biker said, pointing at the woodchipper that Clyde, Kipling and Dickens had been working on earlier.

Beautifully applied were red and white roses that spelled out the words, “YOU SUCK!”

"Gotta love those spirited kittens," Roxanne laughed. "Ninja wheels for all of them!"
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
*****************************
Baby and Sebastian snuggled together at their table after having danced their first dance as husband and wifickie. Hector had sung a jazzy solo of Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You, Babe,” for them, and the pair had expertly shown effuryone how to Fox Trot Southern style. Baxter and Lola were now off the floor as well, having completed their first dance to Billy Joel’s “I Love You Just The Way You Are.”

Next, Kiwi and Remington took to the floor for their first dance as young marrieds. Winking at Ribbons, Panda cued up Kiwi’s favourite song, Rimsky-Korsakov ‘s “The Flight of the Bumble Bee.” Whirling around the floor like a pair of mad dervishes, the Royal couple glowed with excitement. At one point, they had to step lively to avoid careening into Baxter, who, free from his sticky purrdicament, was devouring raw eels with great gusto at the fish buffet!

Lady Lily and Sir Lester had fluttered around the room to their special number, “I Will Always Love You,” (the Dolly Parton original, not the Whitney...) Duncan had hoped to avoid the dancing thing altogether; fortunately, The Mandynator refused to dance, and so Grampa Kato finished handing out his fine catnip ceegars, and waltzed with Wicca to “What A Wonderful World” in honour of SamPC and Ms Kairo, who held paws and smiled. Kicking things up a notch, Panda spun SICC favourites “Margaritaville” and “Wooly Bully” and everyone hit the floor.
Panda []
*****************************
Ohhh, PC...aren't they beautiful? Kairo followed the couples across the floor, describing every detail for PC. And Wicca and Grampa Kato waltz so divinely. It certainly was thoughtful of them to dedicate their dance to us.

PC nodded, while taking a little lick from his catnip cigar. He wondered if Kairo would like a nip as well, but just wasn't sure. He shyly extended his paw toward her, offering her a bit of the fine treat. To his surprise, she took a hearty nip, followed by a couple raspy licks.

I thought you'd never ask, sweetie. You should know I do so enjoy a good nip now and again. And face it, Kato's cigars are the finest. Purrrrrrr...

PC was a bit surprised, but pleased with her enthusiasm. Who knew what other surprises she might present. One just couldn't be too sure with this little sealy geezette. Purrhaps he'd find out more, but only after a pleasantly nip-induced nap with his wife.

Snuggling closer, the pair nodded off...paws entwined, sharing their dreams.
Kairo []
*****************************
Belle and Baby Laz were sent from the kitchen on an errand by Ailsa. Giggling and nervous, they scampurred across the dance floor, appurroached the DJ booth and uttered their meowessage into Ribbons’ ear with exaggerated importance. Ribbons patted them on the heads and thanked them, she announced into the mic, her husky purr getting nearly everyone’s attention: “It’s time to serve the wedding cake!”

SuShi wheeled out the cake – grand and glorious for all.

“OOH! A Litterbox cake! Wif tootsie rolls! How apropos,” exclaimed Minooka to Max.
Mozart was summoned to sing the twistin’, cake cutting song, “You Neffur Can Tell”:

It was a meezer wedding, and the old folks wished them well,
You could see that Remy did truly love the Madamoiselle,
And now the young monsieur and madame have rung the chapel bell,
"C'est la vie", say the old folks, it goes to show you neffur can tell!
Lady Sushi []
*****************************
Sister Wimples promptly pulled Brother Pepe Joe out onto the dance floor as soon as "Wooly Bully" started up. Lavender bravely skipped out and began cutting a rug along with the other dancing meezers. After that song ended Bailey began a slow ballad about the meezettes who welcomed their heroes back from the Raccoon Wars and Lavender, not having anyone with whom to waltz, began walking back towards an empty seat at one of the tables. "Maybe a quick stop at the horse durvies table will help!" she thought.
Sister Wimples []
*****************************
After helping Kipling and Dickens decorate, Clyde sure was hungry...heck, all the time he was hungry. Out of the corner of his crossed blue eyes, he saw the adorable little red furred "Laz" and sighed..He had been dreaming of the day he was a cat old enough to marry and would fate shine on him and Laz..he's had his eye on her since the story of her incredible birth...and watching her grow unto a beautiful young meezerette...the wedding was such fun..all the dressed up meezers, the vow, kisses, and dances..but most of all the food..oh the food.
Clyde []
*****************************
PC’s ears pick up. YES - They're playing our song. May I have this dance, he purrs into Kairo's ear. All of a sudden he gets a burst of energy from the catnip cigar. He whirls Kairo onto the dance floor. All meezer's stop and watch. WoW - where'd they learn to dance like that! Soon Kairo and PC are teaching all the young'uns the geezer trot. The dance floor fills. You are a wonderful dancer, PC whispers into Kairo's ears. I have never had a partner like you. Slightly winded he escorts her back to the leopard bed. Next set we'll show'em the geezer polka he promises. Kairo summons Samson to bring him his subQ fluids to re-hydrate him for the next set. I didn't think he still had it in him, she purrs.
Sam PC []
*****************************
Fidra was waltzing with Pen Duick, of course, the two whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Kelso, dashingly handsome in his full dress kilt, politely declined to dance, he sighed often, thinking of a lilac princess in Oz.

Jura swallowed hard, she felt as awkward as a kitten. Hector was taking a break between songs, what a handsome strapping meezer he was. She herself was a "big girl" 12 pounds of lean muscle, she didn't look plump at all. She was just a bit taller. What could she say to such an astonishing performer?

Brechin, was in his element. He finished off a glass of cat nip wine and danced his way across the floor with three different meezerettes...he plucked a pink rose from thin air and handed it with a flourish to Libby, "If mademoiselle is not other wise engaged, purrhaps she would care to dance?" And off they went in a swirl of dress and a glint of Brechin's patent leather dancing shoes. What a great party! The wine was excellent, the food perfection...and loads of meezerettes to dance and flirt with.
The Great Scots []
*****************************
Bailey looked over at Panda, who was rummaging thru his CD's looking for the next selections...Bailey snickered a bit, reached into Panda's CD case and pulled out one, handed it to him and said "hey, I'd really like to hear a tune or two off THIS one...that "obscure Canadian band", right...?", holding up the WINDOWS 95 CD.....Panda's ears got a little red as he stammered "uummm...ok - I guess that was pretty lame, huh...?" Bailey laughed and said "VERY lame...! You know - I'd take a break, if I was you.....because I think there's a purrrty lynxie gurl out there who's looking for a dance partner...I'd go ask her...if'n I was you.....!"
Bailey opened his guitar case and pulled out his custom made Fender Jaguar electric, nodded for Niko to join him with his harmonica....Bailey stepped up to the mike...
"Are you all ready to rock n' roll...!!??" He struck a few power chords and launched into a vicious r&r vamp, with Niko soloing on top....out of the corner of his eye, he could see Panda extending his paw to Ribbons, leading her to the dance floor.....

"Cat-man-doooo.....!! That's really really where I'm goin' tooo....!!
If I ever get out of here...I'm goin' to Cat-Man-doooo...!!"

Kipling and Dickens, in a fit of playfulness began chasing each other across the stage...they bounded up to a piano and began racing back and forth across the keyboard in purrfect honky-tonk to the driving rock and roll vamp...Bailey looked over at them and broke into a broad grin...."ohhh yeaahhhh...!!"....

"CA-CA-CA-Ca-CA-CA-Cat-Man-Doooo....!!
That's where all the Meezers will be goin' toooo....!!
If we ever get out of here....we're goin' to CAT-MAN-DOOOO....!!!"
Bailey []
*****************************
Hut watched in admiration as the beautiful Lavender dejectedly walked towards the tables for an empty chair. "I just bet she's a guud dancer!"

Hut made his way across the room to Lavender, and very shyly held out his paw and said "Lavender, would you give me the honor of this dance? I've been watching you all evening and you are, by far, the most beautiful meezette here."
Hut the Magnificat []
*****************************
All the meezers and meezettes began to boogie, with Ribbons and Panda stepping it out in fantastic gyrations as Niko sang:

Cat-man dooby dooby dooby doooo...!
I'm goin' there and you can, toooo...!
Good times there for me and yoooo...!
Dooby dooby doobaly doooo!

Lavender and Hut got caught up in the rock beat, gazing into each other's eyes, mesmerized, their new-found attraction apparent to everyone else on the floor. When the music finally stopped, the crowd broke into deafening clapping of paws. Bailey and Niko took a bow, extending a paw to include Kipling and Dickens because of their inspired impromptu piano-playing. What a celebration!!
Kipling and Dickens []
*****************************
Lavender's lilac cheeks turned a rosy mauve as she blushed at Hut's compliments.
"Yes, I'd love to dance!" She shyly replied, and soon they were out showing 'em all how it was done. Lavender felt like she was in a dream, it'd been a long time since she'd seen such bemewtiful bleu eyes! Mesmerized, she wondered if she'd just up and float away. She hoped the song would never end. . .

Wimples, resting alongside Pepe Joe at the refreshment corner noticed Lavender's dreamy look and smiled to herself, catching a wink from Brother Pepe as he too saw the happy lilacs.
Lavender []
*****************************
Samson didn't know what to do. Timsters found him in a corner looking very unhappy. I DON"T KNOW HOW TO DANCE, he wailed. PC tried to teach me but I have two left pawickies front and back. I brought my lovely Aussie girlfriend under false pretenses and I'm afraid I didn't quite tell her the truth about me. I told her I was a descendant of Furrredie Astaire. My meowmmy even makes fun of my walking. You know how she calls me lump-de-dump cuz I kind of like lope along. And you know how shy I am. How am I ever going to face her. If I hide under the hors d'hoof's table, maybe she won't find me. Could you pretend to be me? I'll even give you the best spot on the heating pad when we get home. Oh wot to do!
Samson []
*****************************
Awww...poor Samson, Kairo heard his distressed confession about too many left paws. PC, would you mind if I took your brother aside for a quick lesson? PC? Oops...sorry sweetie, didn't mean to disturb your nap. I'll be back before you're awake for that next dance.

Kairo took Samson into a quiet corner, and tried to explain a few basic steps. It wasn't sinking in. Purrhaps he needed a demonstration. Ok, let's try this...paws together, 1..2..3..4..1..2..3..4..that's right. Now use your back paws, after all, you've got to move a bit. Left, right...left, right...no, that's my paw, move your other left.

Samson was in deep concentration, trying to move and listen to Kairo's quiet count. Hey...how about this, he was actually moving in a small square with his sister-in-law and she was smiling.

I think you've got it, Samson. Now, don't try anything too fancy yet. A basic meezer box step is purrfectly respectable for any occasion. Your lady friend will be quite pleased. Just relax for a few minutes and you'll be ready for the dance floor.

You know...I kind of like this new sister-in-law, Samson thought. She's feisty, but has a good heart. He watched Kairo amble back to the leopard throw and snuggle in with PC. Now where's that lady of mine...
Kairo []
*****************************
Hut and Lavender danced and danced and danced. Finally a slow song started to play, meant only for lovers. Hut lead Lavender to the floor once again, and whispered in her lovely hear 'Lavender, do you believe in love at first sight? I do and I know I love you and want you to be my bride. Do you feel the same? Maybe we could ask Father Pepe Joe to perform just one more ceremony? Wot you say?????"
Hut the Magnificat []
*****************************
It is a very brave or very foolish meezer that would approach Roxanne. Sirex Roxanne, as Kelso would say. But Brechin did without regard...and with a covered silver tray.

"Roxanne, I like to think there is a rose for every meezerette. Pour vous, madamoiselle," and with a flourish he flipped aside the lid, while Roxanne was starting to declare "Poor WHO?!"

There on the silver tray were a dozen pinkish roses...but they were not roses, they were thin slices of smoked salmon rolled around stuffing of creamed cheese to resemble roses, the "stems" were really stalks of catnip. Brechin bowed respectfully and whirled off onto the dance floor once again.
The Great Scots []
*****************************
Bailey made his way down from the bandstand and headed towards the exit door. As he walked by the buffet table Ribbons, who was standing there with Panda stopped him,
“ Going out for a breath of fresh air Bailey?” she asked. “You’re doing a wonderful job tonight dear, I’ve never heard you play so well.” Bailey smiled at his mother, “Yes ma, just a breath of fresh air…I won’t be long, I promise”, he said as he continued for the door.
Once outside Bailey looked around the parking lot for the limo that had brought him to the wedding.

Bailey gently shook the napping Birman limo driver...."huh....yes...? what is it...?" he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes with his paws...."I need you to drive me back to the airport, ok...?"...Birman didn’t budge only continued to snore softly.... Bailey soon realized he wouldn’t be able to arouse the sleeping driver. He’d have to find his own way back to the airport.

Out of the corner of his eye he spied Panda’s GTO. “Hummm…Why not?” he thought to himself. From the moment Bailey had laid eyes on Panda's shiny GTO he wondered what it would be like drive it….now he was about to find out.

It was just as he imagined and more. This was no ordinary GTO...it was a '69 Judge! The paint was so shiny he could see himself as though he were looking into a mirror, carousel red with matching strips down each side, a rear spoiler on the trunk and a sloping hood that sported a drivers side tachometer and ram air hood scoops. ~Oh Wow.... Sweet!~ he said to himself as he peered inside the window. In Panda's haste to get Ribbons out of the backseat before the ceremony, he had forgotten his keys were still in the ignition.

Bailey opened the driver's door and slid in behind the wheel. He pushed in the clutch and turned the key. The big 400 cubic inch engine turned over with a rumble, it was the sweetest sound he ever heard, just like that of his plane - pure unleashed power! He pushed the Hurst shifter up into first gear and popped the clutch leaving two long streaks of rubber on the pavement, a quick power shift to second then third, as he hit forth gear he could feel the four barrel carb kick in.......and he was gone!
Bailey []
*****************************
Lavender shyly rested her head on Hut's shoulder as they began swaying to the very romantic slow song. She heard him whispering in her ear something about "love at first sight" and "marriage" and she wondered if she was dreaming.

While she'd been running LL SMIDS (Lavender's Lonely Single Meezer Internet Dating Service) and watching meezers happily getting together (such as Prince and Beauty, Panda and Ribbons) and hoping for the best for them, she was secretly wishing some available hunk'o meezer would take her out on one of her maginficently crafted dates. And now here she was, headickie resting on a handsome hunk'o meezer shoulder and hearing sweet nothings whispered into her ear. (It kinda tickled, she flicked an ear in a quick reflex, causing Hut to chuckle.)

She looked up into Hut's deep blue eyes questioningly and asked, "Did you say love at first sight? Yes m'dear I think it could be. . ." Then he repeated the "M" word and her eyes grew big at the thought -- someone to love and cherish forever, and chase spawkaw bawws with , and someone to curl up with her in her fleece snuggle bed. . .but the committment, the suddenness, what would Wimples say (what would Meowmy say!). . .her head was spinning, they were spinning on the dance floor -- it felt like when Meowmy's naughty sister Beth twirled her 'round to make her dizzy. She started wobbling like a drunken pirate and suddenly fainted flat out on the floor!
Lavender []
*****************************
Wimples glanced over at Lavender and Hut and smiled as she saw her sister enjoying the slow dance. Then suddenly she watched Lavender fall as if in slow motion to the floor! She jumped up as the other couples backed away, murmmering with concern, and walked quickly to the prone Lavender. Pepe Joe noticed the commotion and followed closely behind.

"Hut, m'dear, What happened? Were you holding her a little too tightly there?" Wimples questioned the worried Hut.

"I, I dunno. . .we were talking about luv and I think I overwhelmed her by asking if she'd marry me. . ."

Pepe Joe laughed and said "The festivities have gotten you a little anxious, there Hut, m'boy." Wimples bent down over Lavender, then looked up for Paprika. She asked someone to go find the tortie and as soon as she arrived, Paprika quickly assessed the prone Lavender, listened to why they thought she'd fainted, and pulled out some smelling salts from her satchel. "I have these on me 'cause these meezettes often have their corsets too tight and faint out of excitement or exhaustion. . ." She waved the pressing crowd back and began trying to revive Lavender. Hut stood worridly above them as close as Paprika's waving claws would allow, wondering what the lilac would say when she awoke. He twiddled his paws nervously as Wimples gave him stern sidelong glances and Pepe Joe threw a reassuring paw around his shoulders. He was feeling light headed himself with the sudden excitement and attention (he had only wanted to entice Lavender, not get the attention of the ENTIRE party!) and was hoping he wouldn't fall out flat on the floor, himself.
Wimples []
*****************************
As Paprika waved the smelling salts under Lavender's nose and Wimples gave Hut an exasperated look, Hut turned to Pepe Joe, who was grinning broadly at the whole spectacle. "Pepe Joe", Hut said, "when Lavender wakes up, and iffin she's willing, will you marry us, right here and now?" Wimples mouth fell open, Paprika added a little something to the smelling salts, the Duchess muttered something about being a grandmother someday and Daks jumped around delightedly! Oh boy, she thought, a meezette more my age to play and romp with (if Hut will let me)....

Hut was nervously shuffling back and forth, watching Lavender as she started to come out of her faint and wondering what Pepe Joe would say and if Lavender would be willing to wed tonight.

Lavender began to awaken, and all she could see was Hut's loving face over hers, anxious and worried and full of love for her.

Pepe Joe stood back to allow the young loves to make their decision....
Hut the Magnificat []
*****************************
Random was scanning the crowd. He had heard that Dexter and his sister Cinnamon were here and the news had really cheered him. Cinnamon had been a beautiful teenager and Random was sure that she had grown up into a gorgeous red point meezette.
As he was looking around the room he saw a long dark tail with a touch of red near the end disappear under a table cloth.

"What the heck?" Random muttered. "That looked like Fiona sneaking under that table."
Random []
*****************************
Having gotten over her astonishment at being presented by Brechin with an entire platter of cream cheese, salmon and catnip rosettes, Roxanne stuffed them all into her mouth at once, swallowed, and let out a huge belch. She sniggered when Lola turned around to Baxter and sternly warned him to stop being uncouth.

“Those were good. I need more. Yo, you, Fiona! Go get me some of those salmon cream cheese doohickies.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Ninja wheels, new ones, in your favorite colors. Sharp, too.”

“I’m on it. Darn it, there are so many meezers in the way dancing.”

“The fastest way to the table is under it,” Roxanne explained patiently.

Quick as a wink, Fiona disappeared beneath the tablecloth. She surfaced right at the salmon cream cheese roll-up platter, grabbed it, and disappeared beneath the table again. A moment later, she stood in front of Roxanne, goodies in paw.

“Good girl. Ninja wheels are stored in the back of the icemaking woodchipper. Grab yourself a few, but don’t hurt yourself.”

“Gee, thanks!” Fiona said, running off to retrieve her new sharp toys.
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
*****************************
Wide Body Bob and Sid the Kid were on the outskirts of the crowd, watching their brother Hut make his bid for Lavender. WBB turned to Sid and said 'Wow, he one smooth dude, huh Sid? Wot you think the little lady will do?'
Wide Body Bob []
*****************************
Lavender came to and noticed all the folks just standing around, staring at her.

"Wha? Huh?" she shook her headickie in confusion. "Why am I on the floor," she asked, rising carefully to her feet. Her paw found a huge lump on the back of her head and she gently rubbed it, "OW!" Almost immediately, an ice pack was placed on the bump by a kind lilac pawickie, and Lavender looked at its owner to say her thanks.

"Oh gosh, yes NOW I remember!" she gasped, catching a worried smile on Hut's face. **Wot to do, wot to say!** she thought to herself. She tried to look away in order to compose her thoughts, but Hut's deep blue eyes kept her captivated.

"Yes! Let's do it, Hut, yes!" she suddenly blurted out, then promptly fainted again as she realized what she'd just done. This time, a beaming Hut deftly caught her in his arms before she could bump her headickie again.
Lavender []
*****************************
Wimples looked imploringly at Father Pepe Joe. "Are you truly going to let this go through, on such short notice?!" she asked, then gave a sharp glare to the very bold Hut.

Then she buried her face in his voluminous robe and began sobbing. . .what would she do without Lavender!
Sister Wimples []
*****************************
Hut felt a light slap on his back and heard a whisper in his ear, "Good show, ol' boy, good show!" He turned around and saw a wisp of meezer and realized it was Moushu, Wimple's bridge boy & Lavender's old sweetheart. "You'd better take good care of her though!" Moushu whispered again, then flitted over to try to comfort Wimples. "It'll be alright, mum, you'll see. It's a good thing, honest!" but to no avail. Wimples was starting to get Pepe Joe's robe a little soggy, as Pepe Joe gently tried to extricate himself from her damp yet tight grasp.
Lavender []
*****************************
Roxanne finished the last salmon and cream cheese rosette, licked the platter, and looked at Lavender and Hut.

“Yo, Pepe Joe!” the feral called. “I told you that we really needed to rent a stadium and the services of Rev. Moon with all the weddings going on here today!”

Baxter began to blubber. “I so love weddings! Oh, I need my hanky!”

**HONK!** **Sniffle!** **HONK!** **HONK!** **Sniffle!**

At that moment, the geese rose at once from the pond and flew back toward the Great Hall.

Gorjuss, in the middle of a particularly excellent hand of poker, threw down her cards and raced outside to herd the geese.

Roxanne looked at the advancing birds and turned a warning woodchipper toward them.

“Yo, does any one of you want to become pate de foie gras?” she yelled.
Roxanne the Biker Feral []
*****************************
PC looked around for one more cat to step up to the plate. Here's young Hut but where is that stripedy varmit who has been avoiding the lovely Miss Sophie all night? "Why in my day....." he turned to Kairo but she'd heard it all before and was beginning to feel the red wine and heat and feeling a little too tired to do much except nod her lovely head in agreement. PC decides to see if he can find Roxanne to kick that reluctant cherry coke pickled butt of a meezer into gear. Yes.... he's been a stud for too long. Time to settle him down.
Sam PC []
*****************************
The Duchess, wiping a tear of happiness from her eye, turned to Hut. "Hut, seeing what short notice this is, I'm sure you don't have a tail ring to wed your lovely Lavender with. It would honor me if, in the memory of mon Capitan, you would use the tail ring he gave me during your ceremony tonight. Then, you can take your Lavender shopping and together you can pick the tail ring of her dreams.

Having said that, the Duchess very carefully removed her tail ring for the first time since her wedding to her Capitan so many years ago and placed it in Hut's paw. "Please dears, take good care of it. Now, it would be nice if you had Sid and Wide Body as your best men, and perhaps Lavender would allow Daks to be a bridesmaid?"
The Duchess of Yowl []
*****************************
Hut almost fainted himself when Lavender said yes! He was so happy and proud. Then as Lavender fell into his arms, the Duchess patted him on the back, and with tears in her eyes, told him she wanted them to use her Capitan's tail ring for the ceremony.

Hut was so touched by this loving gesture from the Duchess that tears sprang into his eyes as he remembered another wedding long ago when the Duchess and her Capitan were married. "Our marriage will be just as loving and as lasting as yours Duchess ma'am. And being able to marry my Lavender with the symbol of Hawke's love for you will certainly seal our love forever and ever - just like your love for Hawke and his memory. Thank you my Duchess, you're the best! And of course, Wide Body and Sid will be my best men - they're my brothers after all! I'll see what Lavender thinks of having Daks as a bridesmaid, OK?"
Hut the Magnificat []
*****************************
This is the end of Part I.
The Narrator []
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